Ludic Dreams

New site!

2007-12-04T22:08:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone, jarvi here. Just letting you know I Have moved my blog to a new host: Wordpress! So find my blog here, url: ludicdreams.wordpress.com.

See you in the future,

-F9

The Future.

2007-12-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

This is technically my 100th post. I decided I was going to look into the future, and touch on some interesting things that I think will change the way we live. This is a very Steven B. Johnson post, but that is probably because I (finally) sat down and read "Emergence" all the way through.

Lets start.

MUSIC
Lets face it, folks. Music is essentially done- as a corporation. The proliferation of... "Piracy" allows for essentially any music to be downloaded for free.

But there is another fact: People will pay for music. Lets look at the recent Radiohead experiment- where radiohead released their new album , "In Rainbows", on a pay-what-you-want digital download scheme. At first, this seems like a moronic and truly irresponsible move. How can they make money for giving something away for free? Well, apparently a lot. The cost of the album is only in pre-production; actual recording of content and such. There is no cost for the production of the album as it is digital (maybe peanuts for hosting, webdesign, etc). Now, lets say you are a radiohead fan. Maybe you pay 12 dollars for it. Now here I am, someone who is only loosely affiliated with radiohead. I don't want to put down any money for it, so I download it. and there are a whole slew of people who paid in-between (the rumored average was 5 dollars). Now, if Radiohead released their new album in a physical form, I would have paid what I paid the first time; Nothing. Here, I got to hear their music, and I'll tell you, I liked what I saw. So I marched my (virtual) ass back to the website (here) and promptly gave them 5 dollars. That 5 will most likely get a lot less chopped up then the 'physical 12', and hopefully the majority will go to the artists. Shocking, I know.
Radiohead's management ( in a move which undercuts the spirit of this post) said it was only to bolster sales for the real physical album. This doesn't make sense. But what Radiohead did does; lets imagine a future where physical records are obsolete (save for vinyl, which in a totally odd discordian context is making a comeback). Now, where as the label of yesteryear was a device required to spread music, now we have internet radio shows. The vastness of social networking sites allows users to post music, that music gets shared and viewed. People interested can download at the artists site. This means that big-name artists are famous because, steady your breath: People listen to them.

Brave new world.

Games
In a similar move, they are going to go independent. Big-name studios are not going anywhere, but I envision an open platform coming; Something like an XNA portable. Microsoft announces a portable platform with a big screen, Custom OS, and the use of "XCards" as a proprietary Cartridge system.

Quick note on this; I have noticed that we, as a people, constantly move from circles to squares to circles when it comes to our media. Giant spools of video , move to VHS, move to DVD, move to HDD recording. Music is even more dramatic: Records, Cassettes, Discs, Mp3's. Meh, whetever. I am weird.

Anyway, this platform uses a proprietary system (integrated with windows) to let users build games in a similar way that their XNA system does now. Users can both build and test games on this platform (slide out qwerty?) and then send them in for certification to Microsoft. Add some brief media functions, an internet browser, an Xbox Originals integration.... you have an interesting evolution.

Me
Really, why else are you here?

I think my little evolution might be over with for now. For those close to me, ever since something happened, I have been on this odd maturity tip. I feel different, and my lifestyles have changed somewhat to address these. Well, this is premature, but I am going to make these creeds now before new years, and do my damndest to stick by them.

I want a game, be it chalkboard warrior or otherwise, under my name before I become a junior.
I need CCSU to recognize my whims, for better or worse.
I will make an impassioned speech in front of a group of individuals, and they will cheer. This will be important.
I will travel.
I will record some 'rhymes'.
I will go to the imagine cup.

Lofty, yes. But by posting it here, I get to keep all you bastards on my case .

-F9

On Retail

2007-11-04T22:20:00.001-08:00

**Update**
Below I lambaste a retail situation, little did I know that Jezebel has a whole series of these stories seen here, called "I work retail." Read on.

Many people know I work retail, which..... well, it kinda explains things. I work a sorta combination of Customer Service and Tech support, which is essentially aimed squarely at my sanity, driving ever forward to shatter what little I have left. Still, I love my job- if I did not, I wouldn't stay there a second longer.

Many other people also know I have a certain distaste for Apple products. My arguments have evolved somewhat, gaining some more merit, and in my head I no longer assume that I am simply speaking out of my ass. I have a number of just arguments, but today, I'd like to look at their image in relation to their clients.

Namely; their whole shit is based on being elitist assholes.

Take a look at exhibit A. Read the story, and yes, this particular employee had problems in his life. But check this little quote:

Apple's supposed to be about customer service, yet they seemed to like he was acting like an a-hole, he said. That pissed him off even more. The hypocrisy. They wanted him to act cool, kind of above it all, it was part of the image. But not crossing the line (whevever it was that week), to the point of terrorizing the customers.

This touches at the core of my thoughts on apple. Apple is a Draconian Dictatorship, who only survives in the minimum. It's strength is that it is not strong and not popular. People perceive Apple as a godsend from a problem-filled windows world. However, what we find is a perfectly closed system. You go to one store ( although they are apparently getting bold), which sells one OS, controlled by one guy. Lets take a thought experiment and look at it from the opposite; Windows has the diminutive market share, and Mac owns the retail locations. Can Apple sustain that kind of strength? Most likely not, they would certainly license OSX to various manufacturers, which give all sorts differing motherboards, processors, graphics cards.... which creates a fundamentally confused and unavoidably buggy operating system.

The reason macs seem good is because the opposition seems bad. They are the essential underdog, and though their products are worthwhile, their entire business model seems based on being a minority, being an elitist, being an individual... that has one OS, identical machines, and one store to go to, with one attitude.

Think different.... Just like everyone else?

On an odd note, does this make me some sort of reverse trend-follower? Windows is the ruling operating system, 'hipsters'* likes this quirky abomination, so therefore I am, to quote south park, "being such a non-conformist, I am not going to conform with the rest of you" and purchase windows?

Regardless; retail is a destructive system, if for no other reason than that it takes sleep-deprived college students and makes them blog about this shit late at night.

Sigh-and-a-half.

-F9

* I have brought up with a few colleagues what we call the Hipster paradox, or perhaps the hipster bubble: People aged 18-26 essentially consume what is cool, but it is only cool because they consume it. This bubble is popped on occasion by disruptive trends, with a foundation of elitism. Namely, the Hipsters are ' too good' to be hipsters. These are the lifeblood of Apple, with the occasional Tangents.

A Casual loop

2007-10-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

I Purchased the Orange Box today, and Jeebus is it a value. But that is for later. What I bring you Now is nothing short of magic.

People by now are used to the idea of Liveblogging- as the event occurs, the resourceful blogger writes a minute-by-minute testimony of the actions. However, through the power of Science®, I can now break free from this reality- reliant and soon-archaic form of blogging, and move on to what I know usher in: "FutureBlogging."

Thats right, using 'certain technologies', I can now peer through the curvature of space and see exactly what will occur at tonights event- the Halo 3 Party at CCSU, hosted by Microsoft (I.E., me). I will be too busy tonight, so Futureblogging is my only respite. So now, allow me to take blogging in this brave new direction: I present to you, The Future Blogging of tonight's event!

4:00 P.M.- Looks like the tables are all set up. I put in a call to Jerry, he'll be along soon.
4:15 P.M.- tech guys were cool. The Xbox Looks damn sexy on the projector. Damn sexy.
4:30 P.M.- Jerry Showed, and we put in a few rounds on Team Fortress 2. I know, Odd.
5:00 P.M. Some people came in looking for a different event- official lookin' people. Jerry told them they where wrong, but I was smiling as I saw the crowd Gathering outside.
5:15 P.M.- We turn up the Volume on team fortress to stir the crowds outside.
5:20 P.M.-Jesus! Got our televisions, with no warning. Not a bad suprise, but me and jerry set up the remaining Xboxen.
5:37 P.M.- Call from Dad. Pizza's are all ready, He'll be here soon.
5:40 P.M.- The Nucleic crew is all here! this is awesome, they had to fight through a gathering crowd.
5:55 P.M.- laptops are all set, I even noticed the Microsoft Evangelist outside, gave them a wave.
6:00 P.M.- Doors Open. Oh. My. God, lotsa people.
6:12 P.M. Jesus. Popular.
6:40 P.M. This is just ridiculous. We just hit 75 registered people. this will require more time.
7:00 P.M We're out of cups.
7:12 P.M.- Official tournament begins, first round ends in a shotgun-melee victory. Loser throws
controller at me. It Hurt pretty bad.
7:35 P.M.- I have noticed several central-peoples looking in on us, getting an odd combination of shame and pride in my action. I am fairly certain the governor is supposed to come here tommorow. Hmm.
8:00 P.M.-Tournament continues. We are low on pizza.
8:14 P.M.-I am calling the police to declare Jerry Official dead... I have not seen him for hours.
8:23 P.M.-It smells like.... well, it smells.
8:34 P.M.- Many more hostile gamers are confused an outraged as a woman, reportedly named "KATE-LINN,", has made it to the semi-finals.
8:45 P.M. Riots have broken out as both the pizza and cardboard pizza boxes have been consumed. I believe I saw a gnawed finger on the ground, it may have been Tina's. My Condolences to the Janerio family.
9:00 P.M.-We have officially moved on to sectarian violence, as our angry mob has now left the confines of alumni Hall and overtaken the student center. I think I saw someone setting up a defensive turret.
9:29 P.M.- I can safely say we have overtaken the campus. I have counted at least one Orgy.
9:35 P.M.- Two, two orgies.
9:47 P.M. -The Police have responded, but apparently they have fashioned several destroyed car parts into effective melee weaponry. I am horrified, but frankly, proud.
9:58 P.M.- I get a call from Doc that our warband has grown to cover most of Hartford county.
10:04 P.M.- I Finally saw Jerry, Nude, massacring what appeared to be a group of Marching band kids. We locked eyes, nodded, and continued on our ways.
10:22 P.M.- I have commandeered a tank, and I believe I am making a march on washington. My face has been on a flag, and I am proud.
10:33 P.M.- Somehow my warband has stretched to the coast, igniting many into revolution. Bush Agrees to terms with me at the Connecticut border. I meet at the beach, because I like the beach.
10:45 P.M.- After ten minutes of deliberation, culminating in a very short slayer game, Bush Surrenders the country over to my revolution. I re-dub it "Jarvisland", Make marijuana Legal, and outlaw the sale of all sony products. I am the new President, And on My cabinet, I install Penn and Teller, (the still nude) Jerry, Joshua delaney and Doc's Son, little man. I install a constitutional Democratic Socalist government, and I slap Bush on my way out.
10:47 P.M.- World Peace.
11:05 P.M.- Matthew Davidson is crowned as winner of the Halo 3 Tournament.
11:40 P.M.- The night ends quietly as we spend some time cleaning up.

This is Nigh!
-F9

The Fight Comes to the Central State...

2007-10-08T20:51:00.001-07:00

Everyone, awesome event happening that I am lucky to be a part of!

October eleventh, that is this thursday, Will be CCSU's First Official Halo 3 Tournament, Sponsored by the Imagine Cup, And none other than MICROSOFT!!!!!!!

Here are the luscious deets:

Thursday, October 11th, 6 p.m.- whenever oclock.

HALO 3 TOURNAMENT in Alumni Hall

Hosted by The Nucleus Game Development group

Sponsored by Microsoft and the Imagine Cup

We will have prizes of all kinds, games, chances to appear in games- tons of cool shindig.

Also, there will be FOOD!

Just go to www.iammasterchief.com and click the 'Rsvp' link. Use the RSVP code 'CCSUH3P' ( no quotes).

It's gonna be a blast!

-f9

Nerds on Display

2007-09-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

This is Awesome.

Nerds in Hartford.

CT Forum.

25$.

10/3/07, 8 p.m.

Bitchin'.

-f9

(Thanks, Doc. )

Believe.

2007-09-23T02:13:00.000-07:00

Alright guys, something big has happened that will change a lot of the goings on about the Nucleus, upcoming events, and all sorts of fun. I have told some, and I will tell you all soon enough, but here is not yet the place. Understand- this is really cool.

I will give you three hints, however:

1. Keep playing Halo 3. You are going to need it come 10/11/07.

2. Those apple vs. Microsoft arguments we always have? Yeah, the stakes just done got raised.

3. These photos, chronicling what was the last twelve hours.

Believe.

-f9

Xpect the Un-Xpected.

2007-09-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

I often frequent GamePolitics because...... well, two reasons. One, Dennis McCauley ( owner and proprietor of this wubspace) has taken many potshots from certain lawyers who I, along with others, have problems with. And Two, the site walks the line of biased and opinionated very well. Many times, you will obviously find a news story presented and then a strong, obviously pro-game counterpoint given- but it is never condescending, never scathing. Like responses to an aforementioned lawyer, even in the face of apparent idiocy and rampant skepticism from ' the real world', GP manages to keep their chins held high.

Also, they talk about video games in a serious light. That makes me happy.

One of their more recent articles troubled me enough to get off of my tired/college/single/sick ass and write something. The fact that they are Ludic in nature ( if one recalls, that was the intention of this blog) is somewhat of a.... happy coincidence.

The article can be found here. Basically, there is a game called "Black College Footbal: The Xperience." Xperience is the correct spelling. The game involves exactly what is sounds like; Black, as in African American, football players, and their....Xperiences. It is a football game that may or may exclusively include black players. Apparently, a friend of Dennis (which makes me immediately respect the man, for the record)named Rob Watson is not happy about the negative press the game has been getting- namely, people calling it out as racist, and that no one would tolerate a white college football experience. Rob puts it thusly:

"There was once a time when these schools were all that African Americans had in terms of higher education… this new game… includes some things EA (makers of the NCAA Football series) probably never even thought about when it comes to black schools; annual classic match-ups and a Battle of the Bands competition…

Stop the hate and investigate."

Agreed, partially. I would agree that we cannot be inflammatory about this, and that the features mentioned ( battle of the bands, etc) sound fantastic. However, his sadness related to the game communities reaction seems odd; these features, while awesome, do not stand out enough to require a uniquely black version of football game. While they are great features and should be integrated in more games (and they almost certainly will be, if the mediocrity of Madden continues as it is, and more game companies rise to either copy or separate from the EA giant) but the fact is that this is the wrong way to introduce them.

While Rob seems to think that this empowers the black football players, I would question that logic. For one, while at one point in history this was the best that oppressed black players could get, we have moved beyond that- while I am not the biggest football buff, I understand that black players constitute a majority in the NFL. College is a more complicated issue, but there is no institution against them- no moral outcry for every black student that gets allowed into a campus. No segregation - at least not at an institutional level. Why celebrate an incredible hardship ( constant WWII games nonwithstanding)? You do not see Sims characters being forced to move if they interracial marry, nor do you see a harvest moon character owning slaves. Terrible times in history should be understood, but put in the past. Lastly, I would immediately question any sort of empowerment you can receive from a game whose subtitle includes the word 'Xperience.' In the game's Video, there is a (stereotypical black urban jock)
character who proclaims "Diss is how we Dew-wit". How does this help? I would get into the intricacies surrounding the use of the word 'we' here, but enough is enough.

Now, I am not one to adhere to the rigorous and.... well, frustratingly anal practices of Political correctness. However, this seems to be one thing that does not deserve a defense. While Rob Watson may not agree to these arguments, in the end it boils down; cam anything that specifically targets a single race show any promise for equality and balance?

As always, I am open to opinion and discussion.

-F9.

Still alive.

2007-09-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

College has been K-Razy.

Lots of Nucleic fun.

Lots of otherwise fun stuff.

I am alive, still. Mostly.

-f9

Emergence; Blondes; Traffic Singles; Sex.

2007-09-01T23:53:00.001-07:00

Four quickies, all dancing around what this blog is primarily about.

Emergence; I Finally got around to purchasing Emergence:The Connected Lives of Ants, Brains, Cities, and Software by Steven Berlin Johnson. SBJ is an awesome guy, also the Author of another favorite, Everything Bad is Good For you. Both of these books are like crack to techo-intellectuals like myself, and others. SBJ spoke at CCSU in Fall 06', and I had the pleasure of eating dinner with him, along with spending time on a panel, where ( as hindsight happens to do) I realize I should have asked a lot of more questions, along with many more important ones. The night boosted my morale, and gave me some strong connections within the school. Not to mention, I get an academic high from attending panels, counsels, etc etc. Rah, rah, sis boom bah.

Blondes; Not what you might think. I am currently running through Metroid Prime 3: Corruption on the Wii, and it is a delight. The FPS controls are simply perfect, and the two things that I can think of that the game could improve on are the following;
1. This Screams online gameplay. Please, make MP4 online, please.
2. The fact that this game has an ending pisses me off .
Must purchase for the enterprising wii owner.

Traffic Singles; I was Perusing the "Welcome week" activities schedule at CCSU; A carnival! that seemed cool. Outside showings, yeah, super. On Saturday, however, they had a "Traffic Light Mixer." Immediately I was struck by the fact I did not know the definition of Mixer ( no need to go to a mixer when taken, right? ....Right?) so I jumped over to wikipedia to make sure I had it down. Apparently, it is like a party. Or A chemistry accessory.

Two, I looked at the supposed plan for the Mixer; No doubt following the facebook trend of displaying sexual availability, they have envisioned a seemingly innocent plan; Attendees are to dress color-coded to the event, based on their availability. Singles are to dress in green; for 'Go ahead, your in college!', i'd imagine. Taken are to Dress in Red, A Definitive 'stop.' And those clad in yellow are to be representing the confusing "It's complicated."

Immediately I envision a few scenarios. One; Boyfriend comes ready in red, Girlfriend is yellow clad. But on a more base level, the very idea of " It's complicated" is not something one wants to 'mix' with. If you are asking to buy a car, and the owners manual says "It's complicated" ( or even better, the old owner still wants to drive it on occasion) you probably won't buy the car. Yellow then, in this case, screams 'EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE', and/or crazy ex girlfriends/Psycho asshole ex boyfriends to deal with. Not very Welcome.

The green fit in, although it leaves some room for thought. One is obviously here and wearing green, meaning they are attending a mixer with the intent of mixing. Mingling. Searching. They are the most at home here, as by a very obvious visual clue, you know the person is single and interested, at the very least, in browsing. After all, they came to the mixer.

The Red.... Wait a minute, you are taken? Shouldn't you be off having sex somewhere?

This is all juxtaposed over the universal constant that many college students won't give two shits about the arbitrary dress code and decide to show up in whatever makes them look/feel/seem good.

I knew there was a solution; my brain snapped into effect. Within moments, I had devised the scheme.

All you need are 5 color bracelets; Red, Yellow, Green, Pink, And Blue, all in abundance. The young mixer's are allowed to wear whatever they would like (within code) and upon entering, they get the patented "Jarvis five second questionnaire." They are presented with a choice of bracelt colors, the choices being red/yellow/green on the dominant arm, and on the other arm, blue/pink.

Green Here means; I am single! Come look for me.

Yellow means: Not Looking; Convince me I should.

Red Means: Taken/ Not Looking.

On the off hand;

Pink: I like ladies!

Blue: I like guys!

Now, in this system, you have Much more information at first glance then before; you have their actual feelings, with no immediate fear of emotional baggage ( I am sure that comes later). You have their sexual preference- no need to hide! This is a Mixer! get what you want! And also, you get their dominant hand- southpaws hooking up with southpaws, or at least a gentlemanly way to shake hands properly ( always go with the lady.)

Upon displaying my revamped system to a friend of mine, I came to the realization I would have to blog this; half because I think it is brilliant, and half because I spent actual time that I could have used to do other things writing this little scheme.

I need help.

-F9

I'll show you what shoes to wear....

2007-08-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

Pop-u-lar, apparently.

Yesterday (31st) was my nineteenth birthday, and it is a resounding boost to the ole' egosphere when you wake up to an obscene amount of "XXXXX has written on your wall!" posts. It is very interesting to see who said something and who didn't- that wasn't a jab, but I was really suprised, people I haven't seen since high school turning up... it's a fun rush, and really speaks to the power of facebook. Not as any sort of productivity tool, but... a living classmates.com that encapsulates your entire life. In any case; birfday.

Rather than doing A Blanket "Danke!" I have decided to respond to every single one in turn. I even might 'mention' everyone in this note, which is a facebook feature which I am unsure if I can sneak in here, considering this post is coming from blogger. Who cares. This should be fun! possibly awkward!

Jess: Starting with the 'Almost' Birthday, I'd almost dignify this with an entry. So, Thank.
Colin: Nucleic Acids. Wonderful. In the posts to come, I wonder how many will require further explanation.
Christina: For example; this post will require explanation.
Brittany: I was geeking it up very much, but I didn't nearly part it up as hard as I could have.
Vita: Craptank? Sigh.
Amanda: Whoa! NHS much! hmm.
Taina: Kiddo? Is she for serious?
Andi: Gah! Lookat that! More NHS, although this is fairly closer to home.
Becca: NHS: Black edition.
Christina: LASO time! This marks one of what I am sure will be many.
Ana: Coming out of Doc Jones' Class! And my Wishes are always the best.
Shawna:Here is an interesting predicament. I do not care about josh; but his relatives and friends actually catch my emotion on the rebound and I get back to them. Danke!
Sarah: Awwwwww. Adorable.
Armand: yes, I am a MAN.
Josh:
Sandra: You shall purchase me a shirt. This shall be my present.
Sabrina: I am the Geek.
Beth: Le Sigh.
Krista: Lookat you! Can't wait to see " You and the gang" again.
Kelsey: Who will fix your Computers now?
Stephen: Know the fear. And Enlgish.
David: This is a special one. As far as B-day wishes go, this is like a guest star. Mr. Willis operates an awesome webcomic called Shortpacked! about Toys and other tomfoolery relating to nerdocity. He has a general interest in many different awesome things, and has possibly single handedly gotten me into collecting toys (Hooray! A new Vice!). David, make this the bestest birthday ever and Cameo me in the comic. Also, I know that this makes me your average sonofabitch fan. But, Ce la Vie. ....

....Even Jhiaxus?

Nikki: This post exudes authenticity.
Katrina: I... I just... damnit.
Jeff: I was going to wish you a happy birthday as well... but I am afraid we'd cancel each other out or something.
Sarah: Yes, yes it is. Calm down. Take your Pills.
Scott: Crossing the multiverse in several different ways, apparently. Nice to see you, Z.
Rage: Seriously, I gave you that nickname outta nowhere.
III: Danke, you little nut you!
Jess: for serious, I think you where more hardcore about my B-day than I Was.
Rob: Masshole! Love ya!
April: This means alot. Although it is a Chuck e. Cheese reference. Love/hate?
Matt: No, Matt. Happy birthday to you.

To. You.

See you soon.
Mike: Dank Yu.
Albert: Okay. Pirate hooker can actually mean two different things.
Dan: Yo! NHS reunion, I am telling you.
Joanna: Hey! what up kid! We should go see Zac's show.
Lillian: Can we cause some more controversy so I have more ways to speak eloquently this semester?
Matt: YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER. Who cares, I just really want a chance to say that. Jessica: Did you guys plan the reunion without me? Serious. I will be super pissed if I missed it.
Eric: This might be my favorite.
Jordyn: And a full song! I am touched.
Julie: I know I missed the reunion. I know it.
Mick: It certainly won't be 'Donald Mickey Jarvis' :D
Steph: Yo kid! Danke shea!
Ali: We'll be chilling more this year I can tell. Illicit lovers and what have you.

*woosh*

And finally, to Jerry and joel: who left odd and obscene messages on my phone, and in person. Scary people, us Latino's.

Thank you, everyone.

Gonna be a crazy year.

-F9

A Low Hum.

2007-08-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

Can you feel it?

The string, plucked gently in the fall?

The engine, just as electricity ignites fuel into passion?

The man who realizes that it is just morning, and that there is a day ahead?

The Runner's muscle, strained before the dash.

The year is starting, ladies and gentlemen. Rev your engines.

The Nucleus Is back.

-F9

Precipuus Hora Patris: My Son, The Godless Sarcastic.

2007-08-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

(People tell me they enjoyed my little fatherhood shindig. Well, more times with my father have warranted his own special supertype- PHP, Tales of Myself, My father, and those general themes. Say goodbye to anything on-topic.)

So I came home from work today, and I had bought three things; M.D. House, Penn and Teller; Bullshit ( wonderful series), and a third item to be explained later ( for dramatic effect). As I displayed the bounties one and two to him, I saw him cast an upward gaze. Has his son become bitter? I have slept in many a saturday night, There is no cross around my neck, and he has assumed that at some point in the past 18 years I may have seen a nipple. Has his son become narcissus, sarcastic and sad? *

It was at this point that I pulled out Mystery item number three: Tremors 4 pack- All 4 Tremors movies, for the low low price of 9.99.

"I like tremors," he said.

And with that, there we are. Father and son. United by giant fucking worms in the ground.

Gotta love it.

-F9

*This whole thought process probably didn't happen. I believe he was watching a Sox game.

Petty Morality, or: Why I chose to Harvest Little Girls.

2007-08-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Bioshock is really everything I wanted it to be. The creators have crafted a true masterpiece, and my god I give them all the credit in the world.

Expansive, interesting weapon system? Endless (but simple!) customization? A death system that rewards persistence and strategy? Yum. However, the shining jewel is the sense of morality in the game- I will do my best not to spoil it, but what I am going to say is nothing you don't learn within the first five minutes, or the Demo, so please continue to read.

In the game, they have genetically altered little girls to harvest ADAM ( a sort of stem- cell cocktail) from dead bodies- the little girls can navigate the various tunnels of the city, Rapture. The Little Sisters are guarded by Big Daddies- the quintessential 'badasses' of the game- they are basically giant bastards in old-school scuba tanks. Using a combination of firepower, and fire powers (along with Ice, Tornadoes, Anger, Electricity, fucking bee's.... I mean, seriously) you can take down the giant bastards. What happens next is really the terrible part.

There is a moment in the game where you learn the fate of these little girls. They are just plain ole' stuffed with ADAM. You can extract the ADAM in one of two ways- you can 'rescue' them- it removes the parasite from them, and you recieve a bit of ADAM in the process. Or, you can Harvest them- a painful procedure that forcibly removes the parasite from them, gaining an abundance of ADAM. ADAM allows you to further edit your genetic code, allowing for more powers, tonics, etc. Fun Fun Fun.

So, what do I choose?

I was sitting in my room with a good friend of mine ( some would say my 'best') and we where watching the scene in front of us; a little girl, easily no older than 8 or 9, crying, scurrying away from us. A man on the radio was telling us to ignore the physical appearence- "These aren't little girls anymore!" - while the very creator of these little bastards is telling us to save them. On either side of the Little Sister, there is a button, with a label underneath. X for harvest, Y for Save.

And we waited there.

I discussed it with my friend- the game had drawn us in, and I took a moment to think as my friend spoke.

My plane had crashed in the middle of the ocean.

I descend a random sea-bound lighthouse, looking for a phone.

I end up in a submarine, a Bathysphere, and find a fucking mutant killing someone in front of me.

Some guy tells me it is up to me to save his family, and that I should trust him.

And now, the very thing that will give me the edge in this battle is wriggling around in front of me.

My eyes grew dim, and my brow furrowed profusely.

I held down X very hard, and my friend stopped speaking.

"Whoa, can you go back?"

I could.

"I won't."

As the little girl writhed in my arms, the screen went green with a muted scream. As it cleared up, the ADAM meter clicked upwards, and the game continued.*

"You wouldn't really do that, dude?" My friend asked, not looking at me.

It's a really good thing, too.

Because he would have seen me nodding.

This game has put me into this state of mind, one where my normally lofty morality is replaced by cold, hard, truth. Besides, my Savior is telling me to kill them, whereas the crazy bitch who spawned the demons is telling me to listen to her? No thank you.

Bioshock is a really good game.

Here's to hoping you are braver than I am.

-F9

*Some of you might be a little disgusted; well, fuck you. I am playing the game for the first time, all the way through, on hard mode. So there.

See, this is what I mean.

2007-08-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

Why do I want to be a father, eventually? Check out this exchange last night at 12:45.

I come home after hanging out with some friends. As is customary, I just slightly open the door, find out if everyone is home, say good night and all. My father has just rearranged the room so the bed is on the other side, away from the door. Check the script;

Me: Goodnight, dad. Everyone home?

Dad: Yeah.

Me: Alright, I'll lock the door.

Dad:(brief silence). Y'know, I heard you come in, I was going to stand on the other side of the door and scare you.

Me: . . . .

Dad: . . . .

Me: Love you, Good night.

-F9

The Odd Dance, Or; Why I love Windows.

2007-08-10T01:38:00.000-07:00

I was messing around with my laptop- a nice little gateway running windows Vista Premium. I had earlier tried installing Ubuntu on it, with some success, but I soon realized it was just not what I was looking for, so I stopped using it. Of course, I had partitioned my hard drive for the space, which gave me very little time for normal vista applications and data. After searching through the troves of the inter-webs, I came across a neat fact from Lifehacker; windows vista has a full-fledged built in partition manager. This is exactly what I was looking for, and christ, I didn't even need to reboot! Heaven!

With much haste, I deleted my never-used Ubuntu partition (mostly because the limited graphics capabilities of the lappy would not let me do the pretty Compiz Fusion hotness) along with the minor linux swap. After installing another program, I shut of the computer.

Mistake.

You see, Ubuntu uses the GRUB boot manager, which critically alters the Windows boot system. With No Ubuntu to find, suddenly it came up all dicked- Error 22.
After fevered searches, I saw I needed to produce my xp disc and run recovery console. Oh, whats that? Vista uses a different administrator password system, rendering it useless? Well, call me fucked then. I remember I have a recovery partition, so i'll just install XP and access it later, somehow.

Well, mid-xp install, I realize too late that i had knocked out the cord on the laptop, and it's battery life was just... about...to....

Well, you can get it.

Needless to say, "Defeated" would have been a good way to describe my feelings at that point. I booted the computer, no- disc.

And suddenly, the windows loading screen came up.

Gateway recovery services.

Full system restore?

Done in twenty minutes.

This tale would send chills down the spine of the average user. Of course, the average user wouldn't be installing ubuntu, but that is besides the point. I have spent all night researching, experimenting, and finally succeeding in the correct interface with this device. Many people would consider this a wound on Window's reputation.

No, ladies and gentlemen;

This is a battle scar. I have won a battle, and now me and my computer seem... closer. And to quote the High-Pitched MC:

I've got battle scars,
But it means I've survived.

-F9

Edu-ma-cation: A year in review

2007-08-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

It has been more than a year since I have begun my college experience. Below are Twenty experiences that have changed me forever.

20. Giving a Lapdance. To a Male. Faculty Member.

19. Revealing my name to a group of people, and then have them burst into outcry; YOU'RE ALEX JARVIS???

18. Discussing Video Games with a man who is very knowledgeable, weeks before school begins.

17. Realizing the single moment that I lost a friend.

16. Showing up for class an hour earlier than everyone else.

15. A lightsaber Battle in the middle of the night, endorsed by the New Britain Police.

14. A single blip, transmitted from Xbox to Screen, that promises the world.

13. Buying Goya beans as ammo.

12. Talking about nothing and everything until it was tommorow.

11. Camping outside of a bathroom door, very close friend inside. In case.

10. Seeing a very close friend in a very bad place; helping him get out.

9. Discussing video games with a man who knows much more than I do, and attributing this discussion to another knowledgeable man.

8. Going to a funeral for a friend I never knew as well as I could have.

7. Standing in the middle of campus, certain, very certain, that I had ended my life.

6. Screaming at the top of my lungs to the man sitting four feet away.

5. Singing in the middle of class and holding the floor for a full five minutes because of it.

4. Being green in philosophy.

3. Hearing a very little man declare affinity for star wars, and shock that I, too, knew what it was.

2. Being alone, in an unfamiliar way.

1. Having your professor, in front of Himself, students, and God, stare at you just as everyone got quiet, and ask you point blank: "What's this I hear about a Lapdance?"

Year one, ladies and gentlemen.

Year One.

-F9

MetaPausing;Paternal insticts

2007-08-07T20:52:00.001-07:00

[MetaPausing is a soon-to-be-repeated blurb about the world around me, not exactly related to gaming, but rather, world issues and things like that. Not that my usual content is necessarily right on track.... but regardless.]

I Kinda want to be a Father.

No, no, not now. Dear god, not anytime soon. But there is something about it... perhaps it was my mother's Daycare when i was young? I do not really know, but something about the father/son dynamic has always appealed to me greatly.

Perhaps it is the Creation aspect? People in the nucleus know that I make many mention of creating the game, referring to it as our child, our creation, and most of my odd metaphors center around this relationship. This is definatley possible, being able to look at your child (digitally or analog) and being able to say "I am in here. I made this." It's like ripping out a part of your soul to breathe life into something else. I dunno, it is so damn romantic in my head.

Perhaps it is the social dynamic? One not need look far into my life to find this kinda of Father/son ( or certainly Mentor/Student, Leader/Confidants) type of dynamic- Work, School, Home, friends- they all have a single individual (You probably know who you are) who I could consider a mentor/father figure, or people who look to me as the same. It is mostly tight-nit, unique groups that don't seem to be in the social norm. Could this be it? The Penultimate Father/son relationship, namely, Father and son? Someone who is so sure I am cool, until age 12, where I shall be ( If slang evolves as I believe it might) "Not Silly-sick Phat."

I am not really sure why I am always looking for someone to take under my wing- some analysts would say that I had a lack of a father figure growing up, but that is not the case. We still watch the "Alex And Dad" talk-show parodies that filled my childhood with giggles and toys. Further evidence lies in the fact that next to me is a list with two columns; Comics that I am buying tomorrow, and comics I am buying for him.

Hm.

Maybe I want someone who I can be sure, at least at a genetic level, is somewhat as nerdy as I am.

And hopefully, I will understand him.*

-F9

*Prolly not.

The Downfall of the Human Race.

2007-08-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

I know I can be pretty verbose here- and I have a tendency to use the phrase "favorite", or " best ever", more than a subjective party should use. However, I have found something that really does qualify as genocide-inducing fear.

This Study concludes that those with a lower IQ have sex earlier and more frequently. People with an IQ of 75 ( which is 5 points away from mental handicap, mind you) had the lowest chance of virginity. If your IQ was 100, you where anywhere from 1.5 to 5 times more likely to have sex (as a teen) than someone with an IQ of 120.

Congradulations, Humanity. We have nipped Natural selection in the bud. Our intelligent peoples are being subjugated against, some sort of inane, MTV fueled clusterfuck of stupidity, this one of the few times I can use "Clusterfuck" in the literal sense. We'll just Devolve from here on in, I suppose; we can look forward to further and further generations, discussing such lofty philosophical concepts as "The Shoe/Nail relationship (in both color and style)" and "Ignorance isn't just the law; it's a good idea!"*

Call me old fashioned, but shouldn't the smarter people be the one mating? y'know, passing on the best of this generation onto the next? I weep for the future.

Then again, my higher than average IQ may just be making me the slightest bit jaded.

-F9

*I already have this copyrighted in case the republican presidential hopefuls try to use it.... they must get TONS of sex!

In Which Several Days of Excersize are Wasted

2007-07-31T14:39:00.000-07:00

1 box of Blast-O-Butter.

1 Bag of Tostito's.

2 Cans of nacho cheese. Cans.

3 Boxes of Coke Cans.

1 Order of mac-a-roo and cheese.

2 Bloomin Onions.

1 Nintendo Wii.

3 Controllers.

1 Copy of Phantasy Star Online.

2 Seasons of Doctor Who.

2 Great friends to share it all with.

-f9

Overt Sadness in Web2.0, or: breaking up is hard to do

2007-07-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

Shit happens.

We all know that.

People grow, that happens too.

But I, ladies and gentlemen, am sentemental to a fault.

On the day that I became single (what some would call "freedom", though that term I have problems with) after a very long, very powerful four-year relationship, I can't remember much. I can remember hanging up a phone, and suddenly feeling my very wet face. I can recall going into a room full of guys and playing guitar hero II on the Xbox, facing the screen as they didn't notice tears running down my face ( I was playing Woman by Wolfmother; Irony sandwich). But one thing I recall most of all is the ever-so-important changing of the guards- the omnipotent and quintessential moment, the marker in which both myself and the world acknowledge that it has been changed:

I changed my status on facebook from "In a relationship" to "Single."

This demon, This social network, this thing; I have learned to hate.

At a moments notice, I can see a picture of her. I can see a picture of us. I can see a happy moment, a smile, some part of myself I offered her, as a child offers a pasta-picture to his parents on mothers/fathers day. I can see conversations; innocent, free, not different than the conversations that I have with others, but I can see them. I can see a technical question she poses to a forum; I yearn to answer it, but I can't. I want to. I won't. *

I come across pictures of us, whose tag of hers is oddly missing... I can imagine a teary evening of erasing the past on the other side of a machine I built her, an event whose very thought hopes to destroy everything I am.

Despite my outward appearence, I believe it to be quite obvious; I am not over anything. But what is more important is what mental stamp facebook has provided my generation. Book is a wonderful surname for it; it's like a giant living picture book, an organic memoir. In it, I can look back at years of Happyness, heartache, love and loss. I can see my friends live and die by this acute application, I can see the tempo of my people inherit the script. What hurts more is when that history, that heartbeat, is seemingly swept away. This happens in reality anyway, but one very rarely carves it on a stone and yells it from a mountain.

What is worse: Looking upon the past, dying inside, thinking to yourself, "remember how great that was?"

Or: Seeing the photo's with two faces but one tag, thinking, "I guess not." Facebook provides spaces for memories and what should be memories, in a display of technical power and raw emotion.

Despite the pain that facebook can bring in the wee hours of the morning before you have to go to a 7:30 AM meeting, nothing compares to reality. So, I suppose I still have that going for me, as does my generation.**

-F9

*This sounds alot like stalking, but if you have seen facebook, it really isn't; all relevant information is pretty much thrown in your face, and everything I have said here is basically mandatory reading once you sign in; you can't not read it, the way it is set up.

** This is not supposed to be emo; it is supposed to be poignant. I won't do many of these, But I figured if there was one way to look at social networking, it could be like this. This is more about facebook than it is my personal relations.

Pro, then fessional.

2007-07-26T22:45:00.000-07:00

As much as I enjoyed the big, goofy banner, I decided it must go. In the coming year I plan to use this much more, so here be my newer, professional page.

Oh yeah. Professional.

That being said, check the bottom for mein banner, reborn as a footnote.

Professional.

-F9

MetaPausing: The Fundamental Issue.

2007-07-26T21:45:00.001-07:00

[MetaPausing is a soon-to-be-repeated blurb about the world around me, not exactly related to gaming, but rather, world issues and things like that. Not that my usual content is necessarily right on track.... but regardless.]

I can recall being a tenth-grade child, perhaps fifteen, going through the chore of confirmation classes. My mother was one of the teachers, and also the leader of the church choir. Being a fairly good catholic boy, I went to every one. Normally, despite my yearning for guilt on a Saturday night, they where all boring. This one was not all that different, but at least they changed the pace; they brought in one of the heavy hitters, one of the higher priests, whose official title ( and likely fancy hat) has been lost to me. He was not a loud man, being quite old, and refused to use the microphone. That pretty much was it for me.... once my imagination learned this, I began to imagine all the odd situations for why this man may not want to use it. My head drifted around, thinking about things ranging from Mic Failure to some sort of Holy Decree, shouting that the word of god shall not come from cheap speakers.

Then, I heard the old man-o-the-cloth speak the following:

"You could then say that we all have a responsibility to due our part to bring about the apocalypse."

Needless to say, I no longer cared about the microphone. He continued:

"Christ died for your sins, and we know, as Catholics, that he will come again. And it is our job to help bring about this second coming," the man smiled in a way that might put the Joker to shame, " in any way we can."

The speech continued, my brain no longer in a daze, but now a mind-numbing buzz.

After class let out, I was standing outside with the others, waiting for their ride. The boys I was associated with sure enough had taken this in a different way than I had; Imagined Tank rides through downtown, an entire network of shit-filled-flaming bags scouring this earth. My mind was still reluctantly dead.

When I was able to form a sentence, all I could think was how irresponsible something like that is to say, especially to a young mind. Still being fairly innocent, I would later learn words like Fundamentalism, Terrorist, and both left and right "Wings." But that phrasing stuck with me, like a stray bullet the doc's can't safely remove. I had stopped doting on it after roughly two days, but it stayed in the back of my mind. I had grown, my belief in catholicism waned, I moved towards deism as opposed to outright atheism. But the memory was backlogged, cataloged, and other forms of "logged", gone from my immediate conscious.

And then; I read this.

They are crafting, or trying to craft, public policy on religious rhetoric. I know this is nowhere close to being a new stratedgy- but this isn't like gay marriage, or abortion. These people are discussing the end-times. The part of the bible that is written, more or less, by "Anonymous." You can argue The rights of women, or homosexuals, or immigration. But how does one argue taking action against the end-of-times? Bush, or other conservatives, can attempt to block gay marriage via constitutional ban. But in five years, or two months, or a century- it can be overturned, overruled, logic winning against superstition. But one would think that someone who is attempting, quite literally, to "do his part to bring about armageddon", would pull out all the stops. In fact, I would even posit that one who tries to end the world probably will, second coming or not. That is horrifying.

It reminds me, as many things do, of a comedians' joke. The Comedian is referencing the phrase "live every day like it is your last", to which he comments that they never tell you what to do the day after you lived like it was your last day. Imagine a future where people like this get their way, bombs fly and the world is charred. Then Imagine the next day, where there is no son-of-god walking the earth, no converted Jews; no Beasts, no new earth.

I'm not sure, at that point, that a "my bad" would suffice.

-F9

[yes... I am both trying out new sign-offs and new formats to discuss.]

The Coming Of Many Balls

2007-07-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

There seems to be an odd resurgence in Pokemania as of late- a sort of nostalgia-fueled second-coming of the Poke'mpire. I have found some reasons to stay away from it as of late, but as the summer continues, the small white rectangle moves me to play. I, like others, have found myself aching when moving through logic; the quintessential possessed man who, for a brief moment, realized what torments have been told through his flesh. For instance, consider these terrible thoughts:

-Gastrodon, being both a Water ( sea) and and Ground ( slug) type pokemon, has a unique advantage, similar to Gabe's Rotom. It is normally vunerable to electric types, but the grounding allows it to basically not give two shits about it. Combined with the fact that the attack "Muddy Water" has my Giant Pink Slug hurling a wave of brown liquid at the opponent basically solidifies his badass status: "I am going to shit on you."

-The PokeRus Virus, for which I have just obtained on purpose..... actually, that alone is pretty bad.

-Not having a ghost on my team is nigh- Infuriating, for what shall I use to defeat the elite 4?

I can imagine a dystopian future, where my friends - after not seeing me for months- open my door, the oak creaking slowly. The room is covered in cobwebs, where they spot the dim light in the corner. My fingers are slowly tracing the buttons on the screen, my team of enslaved rodents and dragons at the ready. My friends wish to speak, but their voices are as dry as the room that I once called home.

"All of them." My worn voice breaks the silence. My neck lifts, creaking, as the door before it.

A single tear escapes my dirty, bearded face.

"I Have to Catch Them All."

-A F K

Convention-al

2007-07-16T04:23:00.000-07:00

Howdy.

ConnectiCon was last weekend, and I worked all of it.

every day.

the whole thing.

I am incredibly tired, still.

To my Con Homies who are reading this for the first time, Welcome! Soon I shall have various pictures of our conquest.

In the mean time, I leave you with This.

Read a book!

-A F K

No, I said "Tweed".

2007-07-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

I have an odd fixation on a particular bit of clothing. It is very odd, and it has only crawled out of my subconscious after seeing it repeatedly in a familiar setting. Namely, it is the tweed jacket. Specifically, it is the leather elbow patches of the tweed jacket.

Why, I found myself asking....myself. Why these? Are they some subconscious power thing? Some sort of standard? Are they slimming? Do I want to look like the Doctor? I know not; but I know some.

Well, it had been completely erased from my mind until this afternoon. The Family had decided to go out to eat - we where all over the place today, so we where meeting there in two separate cars. When I arrived, I saw my mother had a glass of wine and was laughing at various things. I smiled for two reasons; one, she would laugh like a hyena at any mild joke. But two, it means I would get to drive home, a wonderful passtime of mine - just taking the long roads, to hell with the gas prices.

In the course of our meal, my mother mentioned charity work she hoped to accomplish, and mentioned the opening of a new goodwill store in the area. I put down my macaroni and cheese-covered-fork and turned like a man who has heard another confess to murder.

"Goodwill store?"

she nodded.

Within minutes, my plate was empty, and I awaited the check to come- the muted 'all clear' telling me I could bolt now.

And bolt I did, to that store, and there on the shelf- the only one- it lay waiting for me. $9.99, and by got it fit me like a [used] glove. I put in on the plastic, and when the woman moved it to the bag, I stopped her.

"No need." I smirked. " I am going to wear this puppy out."

So, in pure adolescent fashion, I present to you an awkward self-pic of me, my new awesome jacket, and the elbow pads to match.
Doc.

Elbow-jacket Cage match for the Title.

Bring it.

-A F K

Scientists make poor party guests- also, Apple.

2007-07-01T22:33:00.001-07:00

So there I was, on the interwebs, when I come across this article. Apparently, this is some sort of press release telling the world that "This new machine we have will totally not destroy the world, man." This is equivalent to your buddy, half-drunk, approaching you with the phrase "Hey, you didn't want your car, did you?"

You, the invested observer, respond; "Well, Did you do something to my car?"

The hopeful liar pauses, before finally saying, "No." Lets all toast our impending doom.

In other world-might-be-ending-soon news, I am considering obtaining an apple product- a laptop of some sort, to be precise. Many people will be quick to shout hypocrite, because they know my disdain for the company. But my new train of thought was spurred on by a work announcement and some inner meditation.

At work, we were told that we would be starting "hero jobs" on Mac computers - i.e., we would begin fixing them. Now, my first (snarky) remark was "but don't they 'just work'?" but I was immediately stymied by the logic behind us fixing it; people who use macs don't have it break often, so when it does break, they do not know what to do and will, more or less, freak out ( reinforcing my point; It's a My First Computer). However, this began to make me think, and I really dissected what I do not like about apple into two things;

1. The iPod, and;
2. People who use Macs.

With 1, I simply believe it to be a bland platform that has established a brand and is resting on it's laurels. It needs some sort of Innovative Competitor to get it off of it's ass and start getting better, or it will be overtaken.
As for 2, of course I do not mean all Mac users- I mean only "those" mac users. You know.... the ones who use snarkiness to imply that anyone who uses an "inferior" operating system is three hairs away from an ape. I invision them at one giant starbucks inside of a mac store, sitting on oblong chairs and discussing movies that they will never make. These people I hate with a passion; In fact, one could say that I identify them more outwardly then I do by Mac usage.

What really hit me more than anything was the fact that I realized I know very little about the ins and outs of such a machine. There is a world of information that I need to conquer; an entire sphere of thought that lies at my feet, untouched by my hands. I feel the need to conquer a new interface, and so I choose this, my latests rival-come-friend.

But I am going to Boot camp the living hell out of it.

-AFK

Remarkable!

2007-06-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have just spent the last hour going through what to watch before I sleep off the last few days.

First I tried www.tv-links.co.uk, but I had already watched beast machines and Quantum leap, and the other shows would have been too short.

I switched over to Joost, but it didn't satisfy me.

Youtube kept my interests only slightly.

I eagerly began various torrents, but, again- no avail, I'd need to wait over an hour.

After attempting to go to sleep in silence, I rolled over onto something on my bed. It was grey and rectangular.

"Oh. The remote."

I had forgotten entirely about the television.

-A F K

I'm Gonna Live Till I Die....

2007-06-20T08:05:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone, facebook friends and otherwise. I'll take a moment to address the one blaring fact many of you have been dancing around; Yes, me and April broke up. However, I'll take this time to talk about it.

We are not bitter- of course tears where shed, but We are not despising each other. I wish nothing but the best for her in every endeavor.

There was not a real "Pivotal Moment" - like, there was no fight, no argument, no one action that brought it about. It was a series of actions, perhaps on both parts.

I am not going to divide any friends- We are not carving up newington as "His" or "her" land. If you are a friend of ours, continue to be so. We are the same- just different.

Apart from that, There is nothing to say. I feel that I must close the relationship on the note it started - And So, I give you the words of the Bard with a sword; Dinobot, Edited slightly for relevance.

Tell our tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the good , along with the bad. The rest....

...is Silence.

-A F K

Clear evidence of a God

2007-06-10T20:43:00.001-07:00

Well, at least for me.

My entire life I had been fed Catholic Rhetoric. Nothing too crazy- nowhere near the fundamentalists. Luckily, I was raised in a household that called for free thought, and at a young age I was taught to think for myself. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but it was a very good way to learn, despite that it has ultimately led me away from traditional Christendom and into the realm of Deism.

"But wait," A friend said, "Isnt't Deism Atheism without the chutzpah?"

I paused, waiting, nay, praying, that he elaborate.

"It's like you utilize all the logic of atheism, but still decide to believe in the unnecesary creator." Without getting into the huge philosophical argument, I looked at him.

"I know there is a God."

"What?"

"Not only am I sure there is a God, I know that she has one huge fucking sense of humor."

"How?"

I smiled.

"Well, my old friend, let me tell you."

The story begins in my Eight grade. I was about 13, and a member of John Wallace Middle school in Newington Connecticut. We had been learning about the second World War, a topic I enjoyed learning about, when he had some pacific island Veterans come to speak with us as a surprise. I talked the entire time to my friends, asking questions to the veterans, and let me tell you- they where a class act. They got emotional, they told of heroic, and less heroic moments of the war in the Pacific. They shared horrors, they shared triumphs. They sang for us- it was great. As we began to leave - two whole hours longer than we where supposed to be there - I was pulled aside by a teacher.

"They are joining us for lunch. We are inviting some of the students to eat with them, would you like to do that?"

I smiled in agreement.

As I shared moments with these people, I found a deeper understanding of the war, them sharing personal information that many people do not hear from their family. The entire faculty liked them so much that they where again asked to talk with us- but not in the large auditorium, because we had not reserved the room. Instead, they followed us around to our wing of classes. Our school was basically a large circle, and in order to get to the wing, we needed to pass many of the others.

It was then that I heard a voice.

No, not voice. Voices.

Chanting.

My nearby teacher turned to me and his eyes went wide, his body arching towards the Veterans, leading the pact of students around our halls.

The chanting grew louder.

While his mouth did not speak, his eyes spoke volumes.

The seventh grade was learning about foreign cultures, as I did when I was in the grade. However, a new teacher took things to a new level - she called it immersion. Around the curvature of the hallway, there came an entire class of students chanting in Japanese, two flagbearers holding the Japanese flag, and every student wearing Japanese armbands and headbands.

I kid you not- the room got intensely quiet, even the air conditioning shut off.

It was in that brief moment in time, the tension so strong that I saw teachers wince, where my eyes cast an upwards glance, a small tear formed in my eye, my mouth creating crude smile.

"He Is real!"

- A F K

Me am Hate Video Games.,

2007-06-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

I recently got into comics hardcore..... and in the DC universe, there is a currently revitalized multiverse. I care about one character from said universe.... Bizarro. In Protest, I am speaking to others in pure Bizarro speak. Before you lies one such convo.

9:21:03 PM) Jarvi: Goodbye stu. Me Am Jarzarro.
(9:21:22 PM) Jarvi: Me am hate Stu.
(9:21:35 PM) Stunibrow: (you am not Jarzarro)
(9:21:50 PM) Jarvi: Stu Should always correct jarzarro.
(9:21:54 PM) Stunibrow: lol
(9:22:10 PM) Jarvi: Cuz Jarzarro love stu.
(9:22:17 PM) Stunibrow: lol
(9:22:40 PM) Jarvi: Me am gonna hug stu, stu am worst enemy.
(9:23:04 PM) Stunibrow: http://mightygodking.livejournal.com/303612.html
(9:23:14 PM) Stunibrow: you should hate that very much
(9:23:22 PM) Jarvi: Cuz me am love stu, me will not speak like this next time me am have deep philisopghical discussion.
(9:23:34 PM) Stunibrow: oh, ogd
(9:23:38 PM) Stunibrow: god*
(9:24:56 PM) Jarvi: Me am frowning.
(9:25:33 PM) Jarvi: Me am frowning very little.
(9:25:42 PM) Stunibrow: that sounds like a bizarro version of "lol"
(9:26:42 PM) Jarvi: SVQ!
(9:26:59 PM) Jarvi: Me am SVQ!
(9:27:10 PM) Jarvi: svqsvqsvq!!!!!!!!TWO
(9:27:25 PM) Stunibrow: what does that stand for?
(9:27:32 PM) Jarvi: me am crying cuz stu knows what it means
(9:27:43 PM) Jarvi: ME not know what it means
(9:27:44 PM) Stunibrow: damn
(9:27:48 PM) Jarvi: Me not tell stu
(9:27:59 PM) Jarvi: It doesn't mean "Sitting very quietly."
(9:28:11 PM) Stunibrow: Ah-HA!
(9:31:52 PM) Jarvi: me think this make bad blog post.

Pressing news; Urgent.

2007-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

TRANSFORMERS MOVIE EXCITEMENT WATCH:
New Trailer..... Up 30 points bringing excitement to a potent 92, or "I will be giggling on the way to the theatre."
New Commercial.... Brings dissapointment to a 42, " The marketing team is sinning upon new generations of youngsters.
New Toys.... Maxed out at 100 points upon seeing Optimus Prime Helmet, " Every day I do not own this I die more and more inside."

I want it.

I want it now.

-A f k

Delicate Discord: No Time Edition

2007-05-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

Delicate discord is where I fire off a great list of odd thoughts. This is less for entertainment and more of an excersize in clearing my mental Cache.

Coming back from college this first time, or rather, having others come back- it allows for some great moments, like when you see that nothing is on, untill you flip to mythbusters .
Listening to Nerdcore Rap with Black Friends is seriously awesome.
I have not been in a play for so long, it feels both great and miserable.
Microsoft surface. Want.
No matter how good your grades are, do not wake up the parents at 12:24 A.M.
researching your past by locating friends of old is a great way to learn bout yourself.
One finds much knowledge during the night hours in the parking lot of a shaw's.
Parents are very confused as to why you might buy a car, or for that matter, wish to buy one.
Boston is a fantastically wonderful town.
Curiosity has killed many cats; Cats have 9 lives.
I can never be sure of the sincerity of my friends when I speak of odd things; this is mostly because I suppose that they are thinking the same thing I am about myself; Whatever you say, alex. Whatever you say.
Apples are more important than they seem.
Why in the hell do I have less free time in the summer?

-A F K

New banner.

2007-05-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Check out my new banner at my blog ( ludologistjarvi.blogspot.com, for all my facebook friends.)

Classy, methinks, with a hint of nerdy philosophy.

A bit large, but I think it works.

*that's what she said.*

-A F K.

Too little time.

2007-05-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

The year is coming to an end, and it is a dual bladed sword.Let me tell you, I have alot on my plate- I am not sure, of all the things on said plate, should I focus on. I know that the school year is ending soon, meaning that what I have just spent last semester focusing on will end, and that is bitter sweet. But, I will continue to do what I am doing now, despite the sheer magnitude of what is in front of me.

Of course, I am referring to Godfather for the wii, World of Warcraft, Pokemon Pearl, And Super paper mario. Too little time.

I should be doing.... something.

Something.

- A F HOLY GOD EXAMS.

Off of my back

2007-05-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

This post has been floating in my mind for some time now. I will offend, but lets face it, this is the internet.

The following is a post to all those who believe certain things like Creationism, 9/11 conspiracy theories, grassy knoll shooters, racists, media-blamers, down players of things like wiretapping, no-warrant arrests, people against immigration, and more.

You guys are Loud.

The Internet is full of people just like you, and you all have a message. I support it wholeheartedly, with every fiber of my being- this is the world, and your voice has just as much as weight as mine. You have a lot of vigor and resolve, and I respect that as well. However, where does logic float aloft and leave you? How much fluff do you have to throw into a theory until it overflows?

It made me think really hard. Perhaps no one has ever presented these people with logic? Perhaps no one has sat them down, told them to take a deep breath, and think? And I do not mean this in an evil, or menacing way - far from it. However, at a certain point, there needs to be a voice telling us exactly how silly we sound. So, I thought about it a lot. I watched video after video, story after story, about people who seemingly ruined their lives over these issues, yelled, screamed, made their voices run hoarse with this belief, standing on it proudly and making it a definition for themselves. The further I dug, the more it hit me- this was not a rock. There was no grand stand. These beliefs are not a platform; they are a liferaft.

I get it.

We all get scared sometimes.

It would be a lot easier if god made us just 6,000 years ago, upright and speaking. It would mean that god is in fact real, and perhaps there is some purpose for us. *

It would be a lot easier if 9/11 was an inside job. Perhaps then it means that there aren't those who want us dead, who hate us and everything we stand for.

It would be a lot easier if it where those damn video games that caused Virginia Tech; then the blame wouldn't be on bullies, the mistreaters- it was the electronics.

It would be a lot easier to blame problems on Muslims, Blacks, Latinos- because you can just point at the skin, not the faces, and scream at "the problem".

It would be a lot easier to think Santa came in the morning, because then those gifts where really magical, and not just a sale at the local wal-mart.

But the truth is, we live in this world. 9/11 was caused by terrorists who hate us. Kennedy was shot by Oswald. Columbine, Virginia Tech- those where causes of our society and how it treats young people, not some electronic box.

This is our world, and many of us don't live in it.

But let me tell you- embrace whatever bravery you have in you and step out. Take that moment, calm down, and think. Use your brain and your heart. Realize the facts, and join the party.

-A F K

* A Definiton; while I went through a mild crisis of faith at the head of this article, I do, in fact, believe in God. What God, you ask? Well, none and all, if that makes any sense.

Phones that are entirely Cellular!

2007-05-10T21:13:00.000-07:00

I have had more than I expected ask me about "This Planet Earth", and what is happening with the chalkboard warrior project. For CBW, our effort in the semester was too little too late ( our acquisition of control in the Computer lab, not the efforts of the team). It is currently put aside, waiting for a bigger push in the next semester, where we can get some new blood. No offense to the current team- I am so glad we are all friends, but there needs to be more focus and less distraction.

This planet earth, which is a working title, will not be a traditional game as I have said before. I will give scant details, with the hopes of gathering interest! Also, if you are a friend of mine; you will beta test this.

- It will run on Java, the J2ME platform, meaning it runs on most Motorola, Nokia, etc. Phones.
- It uses a piece of the camera that is not really used for games. Ever.
- It is half-game, half-social networking site.
-Google maps might be involved.
- This planet earth is prolly not the final title. But I like it because it is currently verbatim to the aforementioned Quote.

I am planning on using this as a developers diary, which will be easier considering the game will pretty much be made ( or assembled slightly) in about a month.

To the Sleeping Thing!

-A F K

Behind bars

2007-05-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

A family member of mine recently got released from the prison system. In my short talk with him, he said something oddly profound;

"I wish there was a way for everyone to appreciate the world they live in, this planet earth."

It stuck with me.

Two days later, I have strangely birthed as concept document for a new game, with black arial lettering on the front;

"THIS PLANET EARTH."

And I'll have the perfect opportunity to make it.

-A F K

A Quick Note to a Phantom;

2007-05-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

Hello. I am talking to you.

Yes, you. I know you are reading this, and you know who you are. And let me say, you are one very dedicated individual. You have come up with so many different ways to waste your time - or did you not get it? Did you not understand that I exist in a strong, confident, and loving relationship? Did you not get the fact that I, much unlike yourself, are very happy with my life, and every aspect of it? Have you processed the notion that your taunts are not met with my stomach gurgling, eyes tearing, and faith shaken - but instead, I grin, laugh, share them with friends, etc? You have become a joke, and truly, I pity you - for you have enslaved yourself to your cause, namely, myself.

You seem very dedicated, and you have devised many ways to show this dedication. I am surprised, because while the method of delivery would suggest you are knowledgeable, the content betrays the facade - you are the utmost of simpletons, deciding to spend an unfortunate amount of time simply pissing away megabytes on useless incantations.

It also serves to mention that there could be various ways you are reading this; facebook, perhaps? are you a friend of mine? Are you a close friend? Do I trust you? If this is all 'yes', then consider what you are doing, and ask yourself; what have I done?

Or, perhaps, the more likely option; you envy me. You do not believe I deserve what I have, and vicariously insult me so that you may attempt to bring me down, while all you do is bolster my cause, my case. And I mean 'case' in the most literal sense - every e-mail, even the ones you thought where deleted, have been reviewed by the eyes of the law. And they are simply waiting for more evidence to confirm our suspicion. Please, give us this evidence. It counts as a computer crime, which is oh-so-very punishable.

To all of my friends; if I say something odd ( odder than I might say otherwise), something obviously indignant, obnoxious, you get odd e-mails from me, etc; you have been tricked by this same, sad, Doppelgänger. This pitiful homonculus has already been identified, and will stop soon enough.

And to you, the most sad of the bunch; You have failed, and you act now as the most sad of doom-sayers, yelling on the street corner to an audience who no longer cares. Consider this a dollar in your old, worn hat.

-A F K

Anal(og) Retentive: Value-Meal Ludology

2007-05-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

[ Once and a while, I feel it is my duty as a man who studies games to step away from the most recent incarnation- namely, video games - and look towards other types of play. I try to dissect any game I find, and talk about what it means to the ludo-sphere at all. The original incarnation, which was not official but did chronicle my intersection with Warhammer 40k, can be found here.]

Don't be thrown off by the title here; I am not referring to the 3.99 Burger king games that apparently sold really well. I am actually referencing a completely different game I discovered upon dining in the store itself.

My youth was ruled by several novelties, one of which being the burger king crown. The crown was always there, waiting just at my reach at that odd castle, now torn-down. It was not simply a crown, but my crown. It was the building of an ego, that I was in charge of all, even as my mother buckled me in and gave me a toy to play with. It seems that the marketing peeps at BK have latched onto this. When I saw again the crown, I noticed there where rules inscribed on it, and found the game 1, 2, 3, king.

The game is a modified version of Master/slave. The crown holder, the "king", has control over an eminent kingdom, his magic circle extending 10 feet around him. He also controls interface devices- if the remote control is within his domain, he controls the television. Most importantly, he has control over those within the circle. The important rule, however, is the crown's royal transition; If one of the ruled removes the crown, he must wait three seconds and then say "1, 2, 3, king". When he dons the cap, he then is king, and the game continues.

What I found very interesting is how important the crown suddenly became. I played the game in the lounge of my dorm, where decisions regarding the television, food, etc, are often lazy and full of sloth - "what do you wanna do?" " I dunno." - the hat suddenly gave purpose and meaning. The king must walk a thin line- one, he must make sure that no task is too harsh, lest he suffers a similar wrath when he is a slave - but more importantly, he must keep his slaves at a distance. One time, a king requested to have his shoulders massaged.... well, that ended up with quite the coup. Some of the more effective strategies included making people sit on top of one another so that the king may occupy the couch alone. And again, people proved obedient, because they entire time they plotted their rise to power.

It was almost worth the heartburn from the chicken fries.

A F K

Advanced Denial Disorder

2007-04-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

Call this ego stroking, whatever. I just want this chronicled. I had to write a paper for a class, and came up with this gem, reffering to computers. It instantly made me think of some recent endeavors of mine (regarding Chalk and their related warriors) and, in true procrastinator fashion, sparked a tangent of inspiration:

"[the computer] is a changeable tool, equal parts pen, hammer, shovel, and knife."

I love inspiration.

Ooh! Digg has some cool news....

A Hawk Takes Flight

2007-04-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

I saw something that actually almost made me cry, it moved me so much.

Stephen Hawking is a brilliant man and physicist; he is the ultimate in overcoming obstacles. When he was stricken with ALS, rather than stop his work in the field of physics, he simply learned to calculate all of it in his head. He prophesied and hypothesized black holes before the hubble cast it's gaze upon the sky, and he has become a force of einstein-like proportions.

Yesterday, Dr. Hawking went up ( with famed game designer Richard Garriot) to the Nasa Vomit Comet, where Stephen would be able to feel zero G- keep in mind, this man has been confined to a wheelchair for most of his life. He asked to go up with an apple- a piece of science, a relic of newton, and interesting, a discordian artifact.

I am moved by Dr. Hawking, and I am thrilled he could experience this. Good for you, Steve.

-AFK

A Matter of Definition

2007-04-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

I do, on occasion, remember this is a blog, and I am supposed to give some sort of relevant thought to the world, not my usual diatribe about "some stuff that happened earlier." Today has sparked something that is absolutely worth talking about: Ken Kutaragi, Father of the Playstation, has stepped down from Sony.

Let me make something clear; I do not like Sony. People know this. I consider them an old relic on the hide of gaming, sold by the odd and bought by the blind. Their part in this industry is not lost to me. I consider Sony to be a flare gun- an all-important vessel that was used, shined with beauty and grace, and then sank back to earth. In fact, there is a George Carlin joke that I believe best describes my feelings towards them; Namely, he said that the only reason earth allowed us to survive was to get plastic, and now, plastic is here and earth will just kill us off. Sony was the people here, the industry was the earth. Plastic? It was societies acceptance of gaming, making it "Cool, Hip", to the point where it was not a lame, geeky thing to do.

I should also make something clear; I will not be entertaining any notions of him being forcefully removed from sony behind the scenes. This man was known for running off his mouth, making an ass of himself and his company. Just earlier in the year he was moved off of the Playstation brand entirely, moved on to another project- a move many said was to shut him up.

I am not going to talk about that. What I am going to say will make people mad, but it is a simple, and honest discussion, in regards to what is being said about the man now.

They are calling him the Godfather of Modern Gaming.

This is a man who developed with Nintendo in secret untill he was found, and almost fired. He was a man who took the plans for the Play Station, developed under nintendo, and re-mixed it into the beige console that broke out in the n64 age. He is an engineer, not an artist; Calling him the godfather of modern gaming would be like saying that Da vinci's pride lies in the man who supplied the copper; Picasso's true muse would be the man that gave him a canvas.

That is what these consoles are: they are multi-layered canvas's, they are a tabula rasa for the artist. It is here where my loyalties lie- when I argue for the wii, or the xbox, I am arguing that it gives the artist more space to create, that the canvas holds more possibilities for creation, not that it simply will make the art look prettier.

Name me a piece of art that Kutaragi has produced; name me his finest work. Name me his piece that has caused a tear, name me his boldest character. Name me these things and I will re-think my assumption. But until that day, Kutaragi is no artist, and is not the Godfather of Modern gaming. That title belongs to an artist, and not an engineer.

-A F K

You Must Aquire Every Last One!

2007-04-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the 22nd of April, and it is a very special day, for many reasons. The big one is that there is a game coming out tomorrow. It's a very special game. It's one, you could say, that focuses on what made me who I am. It's funny to think that I can somehow boil down a current life to a moment, a single turning point where some divine intervention takes an otherwise normal life and makes it decisively nerdy. In fact, the following post is something of an autobiography, so feel free to be indifferent.

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own damn business, as an 11 year old, waiting to enter ( dun dun dun!!!!) middle school. My hobbies included playing video games ( I had fallen behind the times, I just had an NES and an old genesis with the 32X-word up!), drawing, and thinking up stories. My father, who worked at A+P corporate, was a little miffed. His expertise is at frozen foods, but alas, there was no openings, so he takes a job in cereals.
My father walks in with a clear white cereal box. As he works in cereals, he will often get experimental, unreleased breakfast food stuffs to try out on the family. This one is based on some fad in japan, and comes with a toy he knows I'll like. It is a little creature that has a zipper- you can fold it inside and out to change from Small, yellow beast to a dual colored ball. he said it was Po-key-man. After a few friends told me about the resulting show, I was hooked.
One Christmas, at my last grandparents house, there is the usual set of gifts- three identically wrapped presents. I opened one, and my young heart shit a proverbial brick.

It was Pokemon: Blue For the gameboy.

I didn't own a gameboy.

My eyes crept to the remaining to. I feverishly grabbed the second, seemingly identical box, and lo and behold: Pokemon:Red.

The last box stood as an idol before me, and I practiced my first tantric excersize as I waited, reading both game manuals ( the fresh smell and cheaply produced pages still sharp in my mind). Finally, I approached the last box, Knowing that error was not outside of the scope....

20 minutes later, there was simply no Christmas. My family? No longer there, not visible. Instead, they where replaced by a colorized screen, and a world of creatures that where mine to capture.

The story after this is mandatory; playing this game fostered my love of games, eventually spurring the purchase of an N64 and enforcing a homegrown love for nintendo. it created a real connection where there wasn't one; games where no longer static to me, they sprung alive in these pixels that I cared for, loved, to an extent.
I fell in love with the the card game based around the franchise, and while it served to introduce me to more things of geekdom ( including introducing me to local gaming Haunts, OMNI and the dragons lair) it also had one very interesting side effect- at one so-called "Pokemon league", I met a girl who I would later date for four years, still going strong.
Playing the games in public made me battle-hardened to the wisecracks of schoolchildren, and also bonded me to other poke-peers, kids who would grow to be the coolest mother fuckers I have ever known, along with people who where similar in personality. This also made me less caring about my reputation, and more risky, perhaps leading to my adrenaline junkie lifestyle.

At 10:30 EST April 22nd, I will be Purchasing Pokemon: Pearl for my Nintendo DS, and Pokemon:Diamond for my Girlfriend. I have told people this, and I have given excuses such as buying it out of nostalgia, a joke for a friend, etc. But y'know what? Fuck that.

At 10:30 EST, April 22nd, I will be be purchasing Pokemon Diamond and Pearl for my girlfriend and I. I will be reentering a world where my current seeds where sown, and I will be having the time of my life. I have waited for this game for a long time, and I will play it as much as I can, if not for me, then for a simple tagline;

I gotta catch 'em all.

Thank you, Poke'mon.

-A F K

4th wall in 2d?

2007-04-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

Super paper mario is a treat.

For one, there is literally no forth wall- when you flip the world from side-scroller to 3d ( which i believe could be expanded in a different way, perhaps to teach children about spatial relationships? I would definitely recommend this to parents), there is no 'wall' where the player is. It is a black void. But even better? Shiggy does it again- he makes me laugh out loud.

You see, it is a common convention in games when a character learns a new ability, he is described this ability twice. Once, it is " in-game" terms. I.e, in SPM, they describe that you can magically flip the world . Then, the player is described the ability in "game" terms--i.e., Press A to flip world. In SPM, every time this is explained, mario expresses his confusion, and the NPC says "Don't worry. Someone out there knows what I am talking about and understands completely.

I believe this speaks to the entire nature of the game. It is a dialectic; it is laid back, yet challenging. It is a mature storyline ( very much end-of-the-world, kill all humans type stuff) but it is kept far away from the emo-ZOMG storylines of many a final fantasy game. Also, we see peach as a playable character- not in the passive, as in most other games, or as the emotionally driven feminine with talking accessories, but as a strong, female character. Sure, her power still revolves around a parasol. However, the princess is resolute - it was her capturing that caused this, and she is going to fix it. I am glad to see this maturation of the character, and would love to see more of this in the future.

Paper mario, at first glance so many years ago, confused me. Mario RPG? Doesn't seem very palpable. However, the game has proved itself many times. This newest incarnation is probably the best; and I think it is well on it's way to top ten status.

-A F K

Hmmm.

2007-04-09T08:15:00.001-07:00

I guess you could say I am trying to find my way in the blogosphere. This will probably not be the only new theme I try over the course of a few days. I am trying to look slightly more proffesional, perhaps get noticed? Maybe? no? Okay.

Also; Twitter is at least, at first count, 4 kinds of awesome. You'll see my twitter feed on the sidebar.

- A F K

Ugh.

2007-03-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a day wasted.

I had no work; so I figured it would be a lazy day, so that did help lessen the impact of the shear blahness of the day. It began fearing the fuzz... you see, the electronic software association frowns upon downloading .ISO's of their games (specially battlefield 2). You see, I did such a thing, because the orginal discs are lost to me now, and I figured the ISO was easier than asking someone else for the discs.

the my mother got an e-mail, threatening the DMCA. If any of my facebook homies saw me listening to "FSR really, really loudly" that is why. Fuck the RIAA.... Fuck the MPAA...

In any case, I see online that I missed a kickass reunion on sunday. Curse me and my thirst for money.

Sweet sweet money.

I did do some things I wanted to;

Finally refreshed my PC back to the way I wanted it.

Fixed and updated all the metadata on my zune.

Downloaded a really cool program called Synergy that allows me to share my mouse and keyboard on different PC's over the network. For instance, my PC mouse and keyboard can control my laptop.... I just tell the PC where the laptop is oriented on my desk and the mouse is able to zoom from one screen to the next. Supposedly works on all platforms, cross platform. So, mac/pc/linux/vista/ whatever. I am writing this blog post on my laptop screen while browsing the net on my main. This is the nerdiest thing I have accomplished in a while.

Jotted down another, like, 5 pages of the design document.

played WoW with a work buddy of mine.

Wished I had someone to talk to.

Reminisced about old friends.

Contemplated a number of things.

Hey, guys and gals - this goes for all of you - I hope we all have kickass lives. if you think this applies to you, it probably does.

To staying young,

-A F K

4D.

2007-03-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

THE PLAYSTATION 3 IS BEING OUT SOLD BY THE GAME BOY ADVANCE.

That is all.
-A F K

In Which the Bums Return to the Beast.

2007-03-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Sweet God, What I have seen.

I now purge my mind onto paper, this past weekend, for your whorish enjoyment. So please, do that.

Enjoy.

When the white car pulled up to the house, I was distinctly aware of two things. One, I had not brought any snacks. Two, I knew that our gallant steed (I.e., the white pony with four wheels) had it’s proverbial tongue ripped out ( Radio stolen) and would not be able to sing us sweet, sweet melodies ( play any music. This metaphor is getting old.) Sean and I each had our own solution- I had computer speakers, he had the so-called =BUM= Radio. And so, we had our first quarrel, in which we decided we shall be twice the victor and take turns. Yah, I know.

We stopped at a seven eleven (the same as last year; a tradition is born!) and picked up one beverage each and one assorted snack: Bawls all around, and apparently Evan and Sean settled on some white power chips. That’s what the actual bag said. I got Nutter Butter. We did an impromptu dance to “The Final Countdown,” and we where off.

The ride was spent listening to ZUNE, various songs of awesomeness and hilarity. We discussed our Rap carreers to an extent. I performed “ Game Over/Continue” for the crowd ( read: Evan and Sean) and we harassed motorists the entire way with various music and hand gestures. Then, something odd happened.

Me: Sean, where is that Spraypainted bridge that was near the hotel last year.

Sean: Huh, it’s right there.

Me: Oh, Awesome! And there is the little bullshit island with the sewage tank!

Sean: Yah, it was the view out of our room last year.

Me: That was co- SWEET GOD EVAN TAKE THIS EXIT THE HOTEL IS IN FRONT OF US.

Well, it was, and we didn’t really see it until it was almost too late. The big “Let down” of the trip there was that we didn’t drive through the so-called “East Bumfuck”, which was a town along route 6 called “ Scituate”. It was very odd last year (on the way last year, we got lost and ended up driving through the town) because the town included no less than the following:

· A Haggard-ass Dairy Queen with an old woman sitting there, possibly for years.

· A chilling realization that the town was surrounded by a lake that kinda overflowed onto the street

· An old man dragging a tarp

· Streets that where the horizon line- so we were afraid they would just….. drop off.

· A sasquatch fucking another sasquatch, and,

· A purple fence.

All of this was rudimentarily terrifying. Alas, we took a much quicker, much more direct route than last year, and where there right quick.

Check in was not bad- they took my money happily, via card, and my friends provided me with funds for which to pay me back. We got all settled in our room, and called the shuttle here on in; RideBitch) to take us to the Convention hall. As I descended a small set of stairs, I smelt a smell- it was peculiar, reminding me of trees and breakfast. The smell hit me, and so did a set of eyes.

IT WAS THE CANADIANS!

The Canadians, Namely Cam, Mike, and a new friend, Nile (or DeNile, as I now wish I called him) ha joined us last year in the battlefield 2 tournament. We ha stayed in contact throughout the year, briefly, and now where met again in digital damnation. Good to be back. We jumped in the RideBitch, and where off to the convention centre, a whole Hour and a half early.

We stopped in line, and eagerly took our spot, a little whiles away, but still close enough to the front to taste it.

And there we stood.

And the line creeped forward.

And there we stood.

And people lined up more and more behind us

And there we stood.

And the line creeped by inches ever hour.

And. There. We . Stood.

For four hours, due to what I can only imagine is an overtly complicated check-in system, we stood in line, even as a separate line was created, which we where not invited to join, which moved faster. When we finally got it, we where exhausted. It was around 9, and we barely had enough strength to lift our computers when –ZOMG SUMO BAGS!

Sumo is a company that makes kick ass bean bags, so malleable that they could, in theory, replace furniture. I immediately acquiesced one, and was then ridiculed for it. How they would know my shame later.

Then, our first controversy. Evan had forgotten his keyboard.

One can understand that at a GAMING CONVENTION, a keyboard may be necessary. He was rightfully bummed, and we felt it our duty to get him a keyboard anew. We scoured the mall, but alas, twas all closed. So Sean and I decided to get one step further from hell, come together, and buy him a Zboard. He seemed happy. We where killing motherfuckers in no time…. And began downloading all sorts of Movies, television shows (reboot and Beast Wars ZOMG!) and turned into the room around 12:30 Midnight.

We played some bullshit game with the zboard guy, Jazz. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the transformer, and suddenly, I had lost the game.

We went to the KA-NA-DI-ANS room, and discussed all manner of philosophy for several hours. Finally, we retreated at 3, to talk amongst ourselves for another 2 hours. We then went to sleep.

Interesting fact. The radiator had a little meter that read numbers. As anyone may suggest, they where there to represent temperature? No. They where arbitrary numbers, so when he hit “ Hot, 60”, we got to sleep in our own mansweat. It wasn’t until night 2 that we discovered this.

That, my friends, was day one.

Day two? Perhaps later.

Day two.

Or: IN WHICH BUMS DID DO THINGS OF INTEREST.

We got to DO at the crack of ten…. One slight problem. Ridebitch was made to seat 6 people, and our three combined with another seven…. Math tells me there is a problem! So, like o-so-many a hostage victim before me, I got into the trunk.

If you where curious; it was comfortable, but not a lot of air.

When we arrived, I had one thing on my mind; TEXAS HOLD EM. Poker, man poker. Man play poker.

Man win poker.

Sean and Evan both signed up, but they got out quickly. When I realized they where out, I went all in on a bad hand. Fuck it, I was here to be with friends.

We went out to eat, I think.

Also, we found some dude from BTC in Battlefield 2. This would become relevant later.

Lets see…. Me and Sean where in the Gears of War tournament. We lost first round, but Holy shit was it a great game! We had two people tagging along with us – A “josh” and one called “Shoe” – and they where both great guys.

And then, the biggun. We found out that the BTC guy was part of the BTC clan… a clan that we where going to team with last year, but a last minute switch put us with the KA NA DI ANS.

When we realized this, our souls found new purpose.

We challenged them . After a lot of managing, we settled on rules;

Two matches, three games each. One match would be 9 v 9, the other ,6 v 6. Daraqui Oilfields was the map, the 16 player version.

The bums fucking OWNED.

We had a great match, and the Canadian air force was in full effect ( honestly, it is terrifying facing them. This fear is subsided by this simply adorable thing they do…. They call anything dangerous “angry.” If they are gonna hit some trees? Angry trees!”). DeNile played the role of commando, taking it from myself. I felt a little weird, but I realized one can actually command a lot more when someone else is managing info for you. Good job, Nile.

We only played one game of the second match. Both teams kinda just petered out and enjoyed the evening.

We got to the hotel around the same time… 12 30… this time, Me AND sean had to go in the back, creating the now-funny “Fag Trunk.”

(it’s a trunk, full of fags.)

Sleep was sweaty, but I got up at some point and realized our terrible error.

Day three.

Day three was bittersweet. We played a minor amount of actual video games, but we did get some prizes. Sean through his Keyboard for a zboard…. And won a fang, an FPS keypad for gamers. I stepped in on a trivia game, won a Marvel heroes Boardgame, and walked out. And I thought about stealing a sumo.

I really wanted one.

We ate popeyes, something that I only hope becomes a tradition, and I got my kick-ass quicksave belt buckle.

We parted ways with the KA NA DI ANS, and danced a little.

That’s when it got weird.

Driving home, we didn’t exactly have directions. We Had a mantra- Route 6. The signs confused, as there where signs for “Hartford Ct.” ( court) and “Hartford CT” ( Connecticut.) we took one sign that told us that home was near, and soon, we where straight up lost.

Or where we?

The trees smelled of sulfur.

In the distance, two moans and groans echoed throughout the woods.

My zune suddenly found someone else.

MY GOD. WE GOT LOST IN SCITUATE.

We where terrified… I am not gonna say I burst into tears, but it is a distinct possibility.

When we finally made it out, we where only side tracked once more, and that was by a place called “ Gay City State Park.” We found it, and made our way home.

The only other bittersweet realization was that my phone and coat where incognito….. oh well.

It was a damn good weekend.

-A F K

Dig-it-all Oh-Vher-Load.

2007-03-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

I am very tied, and wil write up my experience this weekend, with pictures, as soon as I can recuperate.

Developers Diary, two-point-five; Such evils lie in such pale a colour.

2007-03-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

Ryan Sohmer, from the entirely interesting Webcomic Least I could do, has written a nice write-up on the dangers of the daunting empty page;

I haven't told anyone this, mostly because I'm not a fan of admitting to any weakness whatsoever (especially to other people who possess the power of hearing and speech), but as I sit here tonight struggling with the written word, I thought it might not be horrible to share.

Overall, it's safe to say that I'm a fairly confident guy, but it's already known around these parts that when it comes to my writing, I have my moments of self doubt. What I haven't broadcast on the intertubes yet, is that for the last 6 months or so, I've been feeling that self doubt more often than I'd like.

You would think that after years of doing something with varying degrees of success, your confidence would go in an upwards direction. Lately though, not so much.

I won't go into details, but I am currently working on a 22-minute pilot script that must be submitted in for review this Wednesday, in less than 36 hours. I'm quite proud of what I've written, yet that self doubt keeps prompting me to second guess myself, to start over. I have stared at the blank page of MS word too often in recent months, and it's still staring back, taunting me to fill it with entertaining and amusing words.

Suffice it to say, I've been locked in a battle with said page all evening, and as of right now, the empty page is winning.

When all this was going through my head tonight, I gave Lar a call (he likes it when I call collect). After explaining to him what I was feeling, he responding quickly with "You know what to do, you know how to do it. Get back to work".

I hung up the phone with him a few minutes later, energized in a way I've been hoping to feel all day, as a small portion of my smug (and undeserving) arrogance slipped back into my consciousness.

I am Ryan Sohmer. The page is my bitch.

Time to get back to work.

His words have spurred me to complete the overall daunting task of mapping out my brain by tuesday. Horray!

-AFK

Developers Diary, Two: Fight with the Army you have.

2007-02-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

I feel dirty that I quoted the bush administration in this header. The bad kind of dirty.

It's funny how, in trying to create something less complicated, my mind works it around until it is precisely the opposite of the original intention, but in the ulitmate cosmic irony, actually reinforces the first point!

Example:

In the game we be making, we are using shapes ( hence the circles from the previous post) in a fairly clever way. We are using them to avoid using a costly ( in both time and manpower) drawing interface, and to keep the game's momentum up substantially. However, in changing so drastically, we needed a new infastructure to measure these shapes. The one we came up with is resembling that of a grid.... which is so large it encompasses the prior aspect of gameplay, but is also so much improved that the team now warrants it.

I am confused myself, april, just stick with it.

On a slightly more narcissistic note, I am the very interesting student that Doc mentions in this blog post. Feel free to mock.

-A F K

Developers Diary, One: Inspiratomatic.

2007-02-26T22:11:00.000-08:00

It's amazing where inspiration hits.

I was racking my brain thinking about how the design system in Chalkboard warrior should work... how do we simulate drawing with the xbox controller? it's not like we can make the game on the wii, nor are our developers (both of them) have the ability to do direct drawing. I was driving around my town at the time, and I looked casually to my left.

There where kids, no doubt enjoying their snow day. They where rolling balls in the snow, and then put one on top of the other... three circles, all forming one shape.

My eyes traced the outline of the three circles, and suddenly it hit me.

Of course, I also almost slid into the person in front of me. As I slammed on the breaks, the snow on the top of my car sliding onto my windshield, I turned to look at the kids beside me, my mind still racked with possibilties.

One of the little kids waved to me.

I waved back.

Chalkboard Warrior.

2007.

The Pencil is Mightier than the Sword.

-A F K

Hey look, I got another heart!

2007-02-16T20:24:00.000-08:00

Just thought I would put this on the intertubes, although someone who wrote very fond words already beat me to it.

Love you, babe.

-A F K

Ow, my ...... everything.

2007-02-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

Snow day!

Needless to say, the snow was fairly unique today. If I where a snow.... anything, I might say that his was "perfect" snow- it was as if the ground was covered in miniscule smooth glass pebbles. Beautful for sledding. And so, we did!

And I hurt myself .

Sean Hit me in the nose with his elbow.

I took a tumble, and fell head over heels twice. TWICE. i hit a rock on my head, and assumed I had a concussion.

I hat two fights today that took place while sliding down a hill.

The thought of Bailey Benjamin sliding down a slope, for whatever reason, is fucking fantastic.

And on ludology; A teacher asked me if I was on the cusp of a movement when she found out about this major and offered assistance.

I gotta say, I feel so good right now. If only I didn't feel so terrible.

Happy v-day, Peach :)

-A F K

Narration, Relation, Frustration.

2007-02-04T14:55:00.000-08:00

(this is a highly ludic post, so be warned.)

I am a staunch believer in gameplay over all. Out of any score of any review of any game, it is the game play section that I listen to most of all. The story, the sound, and the graphics can be spectacular- but without the gameplay, they are all for naught. I am a frequent teller of such theories as The Magic Circle ( this variation is my reference from "A theory of fun: for Game Design" by Raph Koster), in which the player is pulled into the game by certain elements. I am also a firm believer in the games as art movement- the knowledge to place games on the shelf next to Books, music, Movies, and other associated forms of art. When I propose my notion of Gameplay over all, I get very bad looks and some completely blank faces, particularly when I say that final fantasy VII is not a good game because of the story - I like to cut deep. As was said by a particular famous designer, " Games telling stories is like Michael Jordan playing baseball - both could make a living at it, but their true talents lie elsewhere."

This is not to say that every game should be storyless- no sir! The analogy that I use to win over ( so far) every nay-sayer is thus: A good game can survive a bad story, but a bad game can not be saved by a good story.

Still, the question many pose is still "Why?" Why thrust gameplay over all else?

The Answer, I believe, is as old as man.

Arguably the first art form was music. Music focused on one sense -hearing. Going to a Concert, performing the music yourself - all of this was possible. However, the primary mode of Music, the way in which we enjoyed it, was through our ears, and hearing.
Stories, which could also be argued as the first form of art, where detailed tales of all sorts that where told, and retold, and retold, untill finally print was created. Even then, as one teacher of mine said, the written word is to be experienced by saying it. Our mouths, our tounges, where the primary facilitators in our enjoyement. Again, hearing the story told or reading the book, even reading a book with pictures- all meant to be said and heard.
Pictures, by this same thinking, where meant to be seen, with the eyes.
Cooking, smelt and tasted.
Movies- seen, heard, and told!

That leaves us with games. Games allow for the final sense to be taken out of the hands of the artist and into the hands of the viewer.

Namely, your hands.

Games allow the user to feel the world in a way that no other art form has done before. They allow the player to experience this form of art in a number of different ways, but the new and exciting way is, of course, touch. The tactile exploration of an unseen world. It is for this reason that Gameplay- a new instrument that is interfaced through touch - is vaulted so high above all the other things that games do well.

And, to end with a note from nintendo, "Touching is good."

- A F K

48 Hours of Vista

2007-02-01T17:09:00.000-08:00

Aha! A review, albeit truncated;

-I get what mac users where talking about, except now it is done much better.

-The whole not worrying about drivers, complications, etc - thats awesome.

- I am stuck in an internal conflict about whether to use Stu.dicio.us or Microsoft Office OneNote 2007. ( I have decided to use OneNote, export as an XML file, and then copy-paste stu.dicio.us.)

- Fun. Fun. FUN.

-A F K

Proof Pos.it.ive

2007-01-31T08:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had a very stressful day. My girlfrield left the hospital- not stressful, but coming home reminds you why someone left in the firstplace, and despite the fact it was totally positive, I was somehow even more concerned.

I went to get my new Vista Laptop, When I was stopped by a manager why told me that I couldn't use my fathers debit card. After a heated argument, I left, knowing full well I would have to come back later in the day - to work.

Here is where my happiness comes into play.

I left that Best buy pissed. I went to my dorm, told everyone the story, got some man-sympathy, and went into my room. Everyone left for lunch, and I called a friend, asking him to tell the teacher I was sick, or to put my name on roll call. Yah, I know, bad. I was all steamed up, and then the oddest thing happened.

I gathered my things, got coat, and walked across campus to class. I had All of my bases covered. I didn't even like the fucking class! I wanted to skip like nothing else! In the grand scheme of things, the fact that I didn't listen to someone blabble on and on about 7 habits of highly effective people! - I mean, shit!

But I sat down. I took notes. I sat there for an hour plus.

I think it made all the diff.ere.nce.

-A F K

V-v-v-vista - Also, Goya Beans.

2007-01-31T08:18:00.000-08:00

To the extent one man can love an OS...

If not for the searing hatred surrounding microsofts new release, I might have looked on, as many others. However, the snarkyness of many mac users has urged me on to purchase a new, vista Laptop.

Let me tell you: it is hawt.

The fact that I am running my Zune software in Vista while playing my Xbox 360 may turn some to madness, a fact I somewhat Hope. However, if I am in fact villified in the annals of history for this choice, I hope I am rectified in my descision to "Take one for the team."

However, know this, you pretentious mac/linux users :

Microsoft isn't evil anymore.

If anyone is the Borg leader now, it is that dick in a turtleneck that you worship.

Harsh words. Harsh words.

On another note, after banging on a friends door yesterday while ( unbeknowst to me) he was napping with his girlfriend, Me and a friend (tim) began to inspect my new little gadget (LamarrLapTop). A knock was heard. Not hard, but just.... a Knock.

Tim slowly opened to the door, turning to me as he did. Behind the door was matthew, whose door we had just banged halfway to hell. but it wasn't Matthew. It was a hellspawn, whose face I did not recognize but immediatley sensed as "dangerous." His hands held behind his back, his eyes glowing with.... sin, he raised one unholy hand as tim attempted to dive away.

GOYA BEANS! THE BASTARD THROUGH GOYA BEANS INTO MY ROOM!

I, for one, welcome the new world war that he hath wrought, and I would immediatley advise any and all to call the doomsday scientists; it's time to move the clock a bit closer to midnight.

-A F K

Triforce ...Rhymes? Iambic, Yo.

2007-01-29T07:01:00.000-08:00

Poetry: The art in which there are more writers than readers. I spent most of my senior year waxing all philisophic like, writing sonnets that my friend(s) would use to attempt to get laid. That and video games.

Lets try again.

A man reformed, such chaos forged to shape
Between his o'er sized ears sprung thought anew
now like a carnivore , what cannot sate
his hunger for this thoght, and rarely do.

But what, pray tell, is left to discord then?
When such is wrestled down to state of plain.
Is he still one above and below men?
or is the apple rotten, turn'd to shame?

When light still strikes it side, does it glow bright?
The words emblazoned on it's side to gold?
The Fairest one awaits him in the night
Knowing Chaos to remain as bold.

So long as discord remains in this world,
So too shall he, enamored in such fnord.

It's been a while. Getting the kinks out, whatnot.

-A F K

(I should get around to changing my exit line soon.)

Statements of my death have been grossly overexagerated

2007-01-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

School, it seems, takes time.

I am recieivng a new laptop via my father, which will ( in theory ) increase productivity in class. I am addicted to Stu.dicio.us, and I cannot help myself ( which is a very, very good thing.) This laptop, for purchase tommorow and pickup thursday, will be running the new Microsoft OS, windows vista, and you can expect my findings after about a week of running it. From what I have gotten to dick around with at work, daddy likes.

My significant other is unfortunatley in the hospital right now, with Multiple Sclerosis. Nothing I can do about this.

Yes, that kills me.

And also, both rage and admiration fill my soul when I think of Doctor Jason B. Jones. He knows why.

To Schadenfraude,

-A F K

In Which the Fox meets the Chimp.

2007-01-18T00:27:00.000-08:00

If you have Firefox, Download Greasemonkey.

The go to userscripts.org.

This is your internet.

-A F K

Version something-point-something.

2007-01-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

Some will notice a new look to the site! snazzy, eh?

Thats what I thought.

The real improvements ( at least, to me) are two new additions to the side- One under "tubes of interest" and the other inside of it.

The new Del.Icio.us column can let you know how I surf the intertubes, and even why. It will let you know what I think is important. ( lets face it... is there anything else that tops that?)

The second thing is a new link in the tubes of interest... namely, my stu.dicio.us site. I have played around with it, and I think it is perfect for a kid like me.

But there is more.

You see, the reason I have made it public is that I kinda need some shame cast upon my bad actions. you can literally see my grades rise and fall on that page. I need to be kept vigilant about my grades, and I will ask for you, the reading public to help me in this endeavor.

In other, unrelated news: A friend who I have not seen in some time talked to me today and said " Alex, I hear there is some kid at central who is trying to bring game design here. I heard he has a following and everything, it sounds cool. Do you know him?"

Ego, Stroked.

-A F K.

Anal(og) retentive.

2007-01-14T00:53:00.000-08:00

Or: How I learned to stop getting digital and Learn to Love the Ludo.

An interesting thing happened to me earlier in the year. A Nucleus Hopeful approached me, his mind aflutter with questions. One took me completely by surprise.

"So, if you can't make a video game, are you just going to Disband?"

That hit me in a weird place. the Obvious answer was "NO!", but thinking through the logic, it appeared that might be the most logical answer - I am going to school to make video games, right?

Wrong.

I want to learn about games. I don't love video games soley because they let me kill, or allow me to play against anyone, anywhere. I love them because they are simply the evolution of games as a whole- Doom is in no different category as Monopoly in my book ( both include bargains and Backstabbing those you love.) I must remember the Echoed words of He who is Revered: "If this all ended tomorrow, I would become a simple toymaker."

So, I attempt to broaden my horizons further, by examining different games that are not necessarily digital, an experiment that started when I took the nucleus to a scrabble tournament. Games are lateral, and what works as a good mechanic in Risk works as a good mechanic ( scaled) in Age of Empires.

The first game I am looking at, a very complicated one at that, Is a game Called "Warhammer 40K."

This is a Wargame. It involves the purchase of miniatures, the assembly and Painting of said miniatures, then using Dice, A large realistic terrain setting, and assembled armies, two players take turns shooting, running, and dodging attacks.

I must say, if it werent for a few friends of mine, I would have continued to regard this game as I had previously: a few notches down on the Nerd ladder, a rung I am unwilling to climb to ( as it turns out, that may be imaginary.) Recently, I purchased a large number of miniatures. My friends and I tell two seperate stories:
They say I bugged them to initiate me in this hobby and help me purchase all the necessary units.
I say that I blacked out, and woke up several days later, about 200 in the whole and an assload of plastic miniatures.

Regardless, I have only played one game against a friend of mine, and even that was with a borrowed army. I have spent my days painting the minatures, what I once thought was a task - to be completed asap, to get to the actual game. However, I now regard it as a calming pastime. I was able to assemble, paint, and organize a large number of units, while my brain listened to season one of House in the background, in the comfort of my family basement. I recently finished one of These, which to see complete, makes one's eyes well up.

This will no doubt have an effect on gameplay, as this was no longer my tank - it was my tank.

(for those on facebook reading this, go to my actual blog for the full effect of that previous sentence.)

I will have further reports from the battlefront as My Eldar army seeks to conquer the Necrons and Imperial Guardsmen.

Oh, and I will have to rap sometime soon.

-A F K

The Idea of Context and how it relates to Ludology

2007-01-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

It seems the man who makes clever titles is out today. Yes, I do Rap, but on occasion, I do other things of importance.
Such is what I would like to talk about today, in an attempt to be more professional.

As I have mentioned before, politicians rant and rave about the violence of games. I have used Precedence in both writ and rhyme to justify their actions, but now, a force that has been pooling around in my head comes forefront.

Context is the pivotal idea that sets games apart from murder simulators.

Context, meaning perspective of a given topic. The ability to discern one idea as it compares to all the ideas around it. Context is examined and re-examined over and over during the course of a game, and it is what enables people in general to kill alot of people and then stand up to be a functional part of the world. Lets examine a place where this concept has lasted for a long time, a place where I am hesitant to mention, considering my people's dirty past with these monsters.

I refer to sports.

Why don't football quarterbacks, or defensive linemen, get called out every day for their violence? How is it that real, physical violence is ignored while pretend violence is focused on? For that matter, how is it that A footballer can look another man in the eyes, tackle that very man down to the ground with the intent of causing him pain, and then stand up to be a member of decent society? It is all because of context. Within the context of the game, he is a defensive linebacker, and he knows his jobs within the game. It is almost like another identity- and you can frequently hear short-narratives come out of the players mouths. (Eye of the tiger baby, I'm david and he's goliath!). They understand the goals and what is expected of them. They know the risks ,and they know the consequences of their actions. However, once the game is over, they know it is NOT OK to tackle a man because he has something you want. Similarly, he knows it isn't ok to offer a bribe to the other player on the field, or to threaten him with a gun. Both of those things are extreme ways to get what you want in "real life", but are going to have negative effects in the game- not to mention, they are plain old illogical based on the games subroutines and rule structure.

This idea of context- keeping the game in the game and life in life - is called the Magic Circle.

Imagine this: you have a game that is an army simulator. You take a 15 year old kid and sit him at computer A, telling him to play "this game." An army trainee is told to sit at computer B, and play "this simulator." I would bet, dollars to doughnuts, that the Kid will walk away with an experience wholly different then the trainee, despite the same exact levels being played. This is because the child has a Magic cirlce in his head labeled "Games." The trainee has one of those too, however, he has another- "Army". These both act as limiters on behavior, and as great filters - once your mind is loaded in "game" mode, you are on the lookout for things to help you in this "game" psyche. This also reflects the idea of PPD in returning soldiers- the "army" circle gets stuck, and it gets hard for them to drop the things that kept them alive.

If we are to examine a problem, It should not be on whether games make you kill. It should be about these magic circles, which we have all experienced (work made you mad, you came home and yelled at the dog.) and how they intersect and seek to alter the rules of real life. This would be very interesting to me - imagine the columbine incident, imagine the circles getting muddled by the constant neglect and harassment of the two shooters, until "game" and "life" became intertwined, like soap bubbles meeting at an edge. I would like to meet the psychologist brave enough to do this study, and I would love to be a part of it.

Nerdcore Rising: Documentary.

2007-01-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

Gratz to Front and his crew. Hope to be in the sequel.

iConfused.

2007-01-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

For the uninitiated: Apple Computers Inc announced the release of the iPhone.

Immediatley, I got e-mails from people who know I am a Zune owner, commencing the death of my little hip-based music player.

The following is not me standing up for the Zune; Instead, I am pointing out a critical error of the iphone, and how it is ultimatley irrelevant to the entire debate.

The iphone is not a competitor to the Zune; It is a competitor to a windows smartphone. It's paltry 4 or 8 gigs are not going to make a mac-fan switch to the iphone. This is in no way the "obvious upgrade", nor is it the "next gen". This is a new device, and a very costly one at that.

The ipod was popular ( and stayed popular) for a number of reasons:

Simplicity - it was easy (?) to use.
Streamlined- it - "it" being the itunes software, PC and Mac integration, and the very UI itself - was laid out in a very efficient fashion.
Cost/value - This may be key. The ipod was always priced to fight, enough so that soccer moms could ask for one for christmas and not be looked at with scorn.
Design: Yes, it's obvious, this thing looks sexy. However, it doesn't necessarily look "apple."The Ipod does, or more exactly, "is" apple.

As a smartphone, however, the iphone also falls short. No 3g, no tactile buttons.

I applaud steve jobs for making this device. However, it is a device that will fufill 100 % of the needs for probably 2% of the consumer market, which is a very big error.

The Zune's enemy is, and will continue to be, The ipod.

Release a 300 dollar 40 gig widescreen ipod with touch controls? I'd be a little more convinced of the demise of the device.

On a seperate note: everyone appears to be calling the zune DOA. Why? because it did not immediatley trounce the ipod? I can bet you that even bill gates didn't expect it to come out a champion! Give it a few firmware updates, and you will see a whole new zune begin to arise from the ashes.

Just give it time. It will come.

God damn, I hate ipods.

- a f k

Triforce Raps: Am I missing... An Eyebrow?

2007-01-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

"Plausible"

((note: I JUST came up with the idea for this and I want it on paper.... or whatever. yes, it is about mythbusters.))

I'm in the A.M. At two
Whats a guy to do
With a Broken PC
(can't get it to boot)
Or a young man left alone on a date
no luck with the ladies, contemplating being straight
surfing the tube cause my computer's outta boobs
no porn tonite, can't get a website
what a sight all these young nerds discovered
A pale white man going undercover
Like a james bond flick, or a board that hovers
Nerds on TV -you found mythbusters

((chorus))

Cuz' the myths get
Busted
Plausible
or Confirmed
Cuz the Myths get
Busted
Plausible
Or confirmed
Urban legends?
Busted
Plausible
Or confirmed
Paper Crossbow?
Busted,
Busted
Busted...

There's one like a child with his head in the clouds
always getting hurt gonna scream out loud
gotta bring on the science, gotta watch the crowd
Adam savage say what? "Am I missing... an eyebrow?"

but you cannot berate the man in the beret
gotta have the last word on safety every DAY
I bet that walrus Mustache got something to say
Hyneman Speak: "I feel kinda Sexay.."

Much love for grant imahara, deja vu
There's somewhere else I've seen this Fool
Oh yah he tore shit up on the battle bot show
(And savage with mouser-mecha to get his gold)

Kary and tori What a wonderful pair
Their nerdcore children would be a site to bear
witness to, I sure do hope they mate
The hotness to intelligence quotient would be great
((spoken))
-ter than the greatest mass quantity of the volume of the container when filled with ballistics gel, i'd bet you, yah, I'd wager that our nerd core flow could really kill the show
-Dude, it's coming back on.
-Well how did it go, was it
((chorus))
Busted
Plausible
Or confirmed?

Tell me dude, was the myth
Busted, Plausible or Confirmed?

I gotta Know
Busted, Plausible, Or Confirmed

Chicken Gun?
Plausible, Plausible,
Plau...sible.

((More coming again. Know that the phrase " my toast comes buttered side up" will be here sometime.))

Games, Played Completely by way of Video!

2007-01-06T22:02:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Professor.

A couple of events have happened recently, that I would like to touch base on.

First, There is a little diddy of a game that came out a while back called Super Columbine Massacre RPG. Much of the media buzz around the title could not get past the name- the idea of running down a school hall, shooting fellow students in what was one of the nations worst catastrophes ranks up there with " hey, lets shoot impoverished babies with down syndrome as they clutch American flags". However, upon playing the game, you realize that it delves further into the psyche of the shooters and the disgust you feel for the game fades as you realize that you are seeing through the shooters eyes, and this is what they must have thought, what they saw. This is not the news, however. The news is that the Slamdance Film festival ( no, not sundance, "slamdance") rejected SCMRPG in the running to be a finalist in the "Guerilla Game Makers Competiton." Why? What panel of judges made this descision?

None. The leader of the event decided that the game wasn't appropriate for a games competition's.

uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbulshit.

Film festivals constantly make movies and deal with subjects that put SCMRPG look like hello fucking Kitty. This is nothing more than a lone man deciding that Games are for Children, and don't effect much.

Play the game, I recommend it.

two - Moral Kombat. Yes, you read that right. Moral combat is the name of a documentary dealing with violence in games. It was advertised and branded as a fair examination of the games industry. Below, I have embedded the first trailer for this Documentary. Tell me what you think.

Fuck that.

There are several things wrong here. One, this is no way fair or balanced. This is so obviously one-sided, as only one of the speakers in the trailer looked young enough to know what one is.

I believe the boys at penny-arcade put it best, in the comic strip found here.

Second, They have a fucking ignorance trifecta from hell. Joe Lieberman - thought-to-be-redeemed anti gaming activist, looks to have his heart in the right place but a little misguided. The senator on their looks like a pocket calculator might have him call an exorcist, lest devlish beings conjure up him some math. And finally, the most hated of all, Jack "I'm a douchebag" Thompson. He has called gamers many names, but I wish to be better that him, so I won't say that all ambulance-chasing-lawyers deserve to rot in hell.

I am not going to say that. (That, being all ambulance-chasing lawyers rot in hell. just not gonna say it.)

Even that didn't truly get the blood boiling. What got me was the part in the middle about 9/11. I understand that you are trying to pull a metaphor, but listen to me: You Don't fucking bring that up. Do you understand that that even killed thousands, and threw us into a war that has killed thousands more? Do you understand the hate that caused it, the mistrust, the trickery, and the rest that have gone into and come out of that event? The heartache, the torture?

How dare you say that video games are somehow responsible. Did the pilots train on flight simulators? Sure did. They also used box cutters to subdue the passengers, but we don't blame those.

If you are going to bring that day up, it better be for a better reason than to make a fucking point.

I am angry, if you can't tell.

Third, Slightly comical, is the ramblings of a UK Senator ( Boris Johnson).

"These possessions are not so much an index of wealth as a cause of ignorance and underachievement and, yes, poverty," he continued.

"The nippers are bleeping and zapping in speechless rapture, their passive faces washed in explosions and gore. They sit for so long that their souls seem to have been sucked down the cathode ray tube.

"They become like blinking lizards, motionless, absorbed, only the twitching of their hands showing they are still conscious. These machines teach them nothing. They stimulate no ratiocination, discovery or feat of memory."

Hee-goddamn-larious. I bet it's even worse when they play these electronical gamings on the ole' Tubes, Eh?

Well, if I have learned some things from my first semester, it's that there are some people out there that are willing to give things I love a chance, and give a poor nerd some hope.

Thank you, Professor.

-A F K

p.s. - all my facebook homies, I appreciate you reading and all, but you might wanna check the actual blog for the full articles. there are all sorts of links, font choices, shit like that you are missing. so just hit the link to go to the main blog, then comment. I promise it is.... well, its something.

Like the Grandest of Canyons

2007-01-06T10:57:00.000-08:00

I find that there is a Terramorphic Expanse between what my mind thinks and what I can get onto paper. Hence: I am trying to write the early concept guide to "The NUClEuS's First game", Project firstborn ( the name is meant to have it sound cool. It is really called Chalkboard warrior.) and althrough I can see the game in my head already ( every level, every nuance yet to be explored by me and my team) I find it devistatingly hard to put pen to paper ( metaphorically speaking).

It will be grand, once complete.

Grand.

-A F K

I'll be off to rehab soon.

2007-01-04T21:29:00.000-08:00

God damnit.

I'm downloading world of warcraft.

god.... damnit.

-A F K

Triforce Raps: Lets Make a difference

2007-01-04T19:30:00.000-08:00

BLAME BOY COLOR
=Mc Quicksave=

((Spoken))
Dear Mr. Jack Thompson,
We, the Pixelantes,
The Nerdcore, the Geeks,
Kindly ask
that you Shove it.

Thank you,
MC Quicksave.

((rapped))

First he'll
put the blame on the games,
then the ryhmes,
then the time
period we're livin in
but never the child
or, better yet
t the parents that neglect the kid
something made bobby kill, but I bet you it wasn't sid
meier, or
shigeru miyamoto or
grand theft auto, war?
Yah, it's time to start a war
Not with swords but with pens
Not with shells, cause they hurt
Use our words, cause we're nerds
It's time to rise against

((Chorus))
The Blame boys
Making our fun a sin
((it's the)) Blame boys
Pixelantes stand to rejoin yer' kin
((it's the)) Blame Boys
it's time for us to look within
((it's the)) Blame Boys
Ask yourself, where did this all begin?

It was a young tuesday morning
On the twentith of april
it would lead to so much mourning
all the chaos could be prevented save for
two young souls, vengence long overdue
too much hate and negligence and now they are on the news
"12 dead in colorado" played all over the screens
On the TV, you couldn't hear people scream
you couldn't hear people yell
you couldn't intervene
when a simple hello could have just prevented the scene
Maybe they were picked on because they were jews
maybe they where gay, maybe they cut loose
maybe they where atheists, or perhaps they where lyricists
maybe they played in the band
but think all they wanted was a hand
and you spat on them
and you sat on them
so they hit bottom
threw their gat on ya
Time to call

((chorus))
The Blame Boys
Now there is no turning back
((it's the)) Blame boys
The downtrodden are on the attack
((it's the)) Blame Boys
We don't agree; what they did was whack
((it's the)) Blame Boys
Think about how much their mind is cracked!

This is, of course, a work in progress.

More to come soon.

Umm... lolwtfbbq?

2007-01-03T21:19:00.000-08:00

I recall, once when I was quite young, asking ( in one of my earlier forays into chat rooms, something I cannot recall doing in some time, I believe it was either "Pokemon" or "XXX LESBIAN CHAT XXX", the mind cannot recall) what " lol" meant.

My cable provider, Cox, has deemed it fit to secure parents in internet security with their " Parents: Take Charge ( cartoonish exclamation point here)" Program. One of the services they offer is a list of internet acronyms that parents may use to decode their childs chat logs- which in and of itself is questionable - and I was fine with their shortened list, until my eyes fell yonder upon this gem:

NIFOC - Naked in front of computer

WHAT?

what in the hell do these people do all day but come up with strange acronyms.... my mind cannot really imagine a point in which such a phrase must be said quickly...

"yes! mom left, so now me and bobby can get down!

Bobby123:So what are you wearing?

SlutXXXDP: NIFOC

Bobb123: r u serioz?

SlutXXXDP: yope
"

I downloaded the whole list, and I present it to you thusly, fresh with commentary, some that I found particularly ridiculous.

ARE -Acronym-Rich Environment
... I thought the whole reason that we did this was so that kids never had to learn how to spell words like Acronym or Environement...

BL: Belly laughing
I'm not sure where this even fits in conversation, or how easily it does for that matter:
"(joke)
slutXXX: Lol, and just for clarification, I am BL.
(silence)
"

BWTHDIK: But what the heck ( oh, c'mon...) do I know
... Bwthda damnit.... bwte damnit!....bwf... y'know what? I'd rather fucking spell.

DLTBBB: Don't let the bed bugs bite.
"Mom: DLTBBB
Bobby: K mawm 143
Mom: 143 B
Mom has signed out"

FMTYEWTK: far more than you ever wanted to Know
Fairly high and mighty for common chat.

IANAL: I'm not a lawyer, (but)
No child would get past decoding this, after reading "I-Anal" (a deceptive apple product, methinks, but a definite improvement over I-Anal Mini and nano.)

IHA: I hate acronyms
IRONY IS ALSO RELEVANT.

IWALU: I will always love you
Again, anyone who has this said to them online, probably shouldn't be involved with the romantic typist.

LDU - Lord Help us
Ah, the mini prayer! allow me to elaborate:
OFWAIHHBTNTKCTWBDOEAIIIH. GUTDODBAFUOTAWFTWTAU. ALUNITBDUFE. A.
(a cookie to who gets it)

LSHTARDML : laughing so hard tears are running down my leg.
Either you are deformed, or those aren't tears. ew.

PMFJI: Pardon me for jumping in
So much civility, in bite-sized form.

PMP: peed my pants.
for the youngest typist.

SHCOON: Shoot hot coffee out of nose
....what?

TLK2UL8R -talk to you later
I thought acronym meant compressed...

WDALYIC- who died and left you in charge?
confused. very confused.

WTH: what the heck
I'll end with this, the truest evil: wtf (meaning what the fuck) is not on the list, despite the fact I ma sure it is used more often than many of these combined.

The list is here for those who decide to look it over yourself.

thank you, this blog thought has interrupted a perfectly good sleep cycle.

And now, I end as always, with an acronym.

-A(way) F(rom) K(eyboard)

In Which The Nerd Ponders Shrinking his Head

2007-01-02T22:39:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I should seek professional help:

Upon seeing the facebook group " make Genocide history in 2007" (the year, I am told, we are currently a part of) I did not read "Make genocide history" as "Lets get rid of Genocide." For a good five minutes, I had pondered as to why ( or more appropriately, how) one could genocide that much as to make history. Why do these people embrace genocide? My god... this group is quite large, they must TRULY love genocide! I wonder what plans they have, and for that matter, what gold standard of genocide are they holding themselves up to- who shall they -cide, and how?

And now, the truest evil: Upon realizing it was the former meaning, not the latter, I felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

I have a weird taste in my mouth, thanks to that.

-A F K

I guess it is official now?

2007-01-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

In my absence from edu-ma-cation, I have invested time in my work. A-ma-cation.

It apparently has yielded positive results, for my supervisor ( emphasis on Super) has moved to the Geek Squad- and in his omnipotence, has taken me with him.

I are geek.

-A F K

You have nipples- Do thou produce milk?

2006-12-27T10:05:00.000-08:00

It appears, ladies and gents, that I have shifted religions.

My official title ( as my facebook might represent) bears the same overarching mark ( Christian) but a new denomination, one that will confuse and befuddle.

I am A Discordian.

All Hail the Goddess Eris, Keeper of Chaos and Discord!

Now, Do I truly believe that there is a goddess that came upon two Californians? All signs point to no. I believe in Christs divinity- Dying on the cross, virgin (?) birth, even most of the miracles- everything after that becomes pretty fuzzy however. I am obviously against religion that instructs- organized religion - and my normally chaotic nature lead me, strangely enough, to a 5 year journey that ended in Discord- 5 years, to the day ( Yesterday), I first watched the Kevin Smith film, Dogma. That led me inward towards my own religion, and made me analyze a whole lot.

Now, I think only of discord. How well chaos and order fit in with the universe, how some of the evils of todays society, the curses of greyface, are so relevant and unnecessary.

To the Prettiest One,

-A F K

Thank you, Jesus!

2006-12-25T07:46:00.000-08:00

I'd like to wish any and all sad, sad souls who are reading this on this particular day a merry chrismahankwanzaka.

My words prior where deemed worthy, and so, a 30 gb. white zune has found itself into my possesion, and in a word: the device is sweet.

Will write more once I am done fiddling with it- it seems that the device ver. 1.X is far, far superior to the 1.0 , and I believe that another review is warranted by those naysayers.

-A F K

I didn't Do this

2006-12-21T05:47:00.001-08:00

Buuuut I kinda wish I did.

Also: Update schedule

2006-12-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

I will try to update Mondays, Fridays, and wednesdays when Warranted. When i get back to my room, I will upload The NUClEuS first game teaser.

-A F K

Sigh

2006-12-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, It looks like my horrific study habits of highschool have creeped up on me once more. Truly, I am a testament to bad descisions.

This semester was both blessing and curse.

Blessing: I set the stage to take Central in my grasp. I can change things there, make what makes me happy and bring it to others. I have made powerful allies here, including a nerd Idol. (He's so Bad, he's good.)

Curse: I have made terrible mistakes when it comes to my personal Life, I have accustomed to socializing more than schoolwork, and my GPA will be beyond terrible - no, not the academic " OMG OMG OMG I GOT A B!" terrible. Like, Failing one ( or more!) classes terrible.

Gods of central, hear me. I have done your bidding well. I have offered up to you, thy who rule my education, this semester. It shall hang over me for the rest of my educational career- A pitfall ( no Pun intended) that I shall be known for Climbing out off, and into greatness.

I hope, at least.

And note, to any ( and all) who read this, do not mistake my words for narccisim or egotisim. I do it, primarily, to motivate myself. Also, because I think it is funny that some people belive I am actually like this. And some people believe I can actually change the world.

Well, at least two. I am sure my mom does. And her Son kinda does two.

"The People Who are Crazy enough to Change the world, are the ones who do."

-Steve Jobs.

Lets hope it gets better.

-A F K

Too Zune to tell.

2006-11-30T23:08:00.000-08:00

Poor reviews online.

A janky DRM.

A price tag only matching that of the "superior" competitor.

Why.... why do I want a Zune?

Because.... I really really do.

Since the Xbox and the Zune both have the same Daddy, you know there will be some cross functionality.

Since i am willing to pay for music if necessary, their Wifi service ( while currently gimped) is but a few firmware updates away from awesome.

Of course , I wouldn;t buy it for myself- not only do I not need it necessarily, but i have a PDA that serves as an impromtu Mp3 player.

If only there was some event, some.... holiday.. where people that care about you buy things that you would never buy for yourself.

If only .

-A F K

Hipsterisim isa Religion to Which ya got to be Devout

2006-11-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

Thank you, MC Frontalot.

My Wii is in much goodness. It was a HUGE success at turkey day, where my grandfather beat me in a video game ( Wii Sports Bowling, to be exact).

I beat legend of zelda: Twilight Princess. I hate saying these words, the same way that one might hate finishing a good book. I am currently playing through the "end-Game". I LOZ games, after you beat the game, nothing changes. In other words, you go back to the last point in which you saved- generally outside of the final dungeon. It is common for players to beat the game, then return to the end-game to do all the fun little side-quests, then beat the game with all things equipped.

Red steel, the so-called revolutionary FPS of the wii, is a disapointment. I am truly sad about this- noone wanted it to work more than me- but the rush I got when I first played it has long since faded. I'll sell mine to gamestop while it is still worth 24 in credit.

School, the other video game: I realized something. While my maturity has improved since Highschool, as has my sense of responsibility, I fear that this first semester of college will not be a good one. Japenese is looking grim, psych is iffy, and english- well, it is my biggest hope ( I got a good grade on the first paper, and am hoping that despite my draft's shortcomings, the second paper will do similarly). I am very lucky that I have taken the summer course, keeping me afloat. In the end, I must remember that this is totally on me, and I am the only one to blame. CCSU has opened itself up to me, and I would not want to have it close up because of poor grades. My highschool habits can NOT follow me here. ( I suppose, Doc, that this could be something I learned in my first semester. )

Steven Johnson: Cool info on his new arrival ( Dec 11th) coming soon. It should be a fun evening. Doc, should I get some sort of Nucleic event going for the evening, now that I have more time? We are all aching for a Gaming event, and such an arrival might be what we need.

James bond: OOOOOOOOOOOMG.

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny: Eh, Funny.

Nucleus: Door Decorating Contest Hooray!

Clerks Dos: Finally. In Smith I trust.

Difference engine: SteamPunk FTW!

All in all, it was an interesting break. I am looking forward to the future with much anticimipation.

-A F K

Lets show them what Wii Can do.

2006-11-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

How does one talk about the greatest game they have every bought?

The wii is a new experience. You may read reviews online about mishapen control schemes, janky gyroscopes, and other various shortcomings of nintendo's console. Well, forget them. They are written by gamers unwilling to change. If I may throw up an analogy:

I can drive automatic. I like it. But when my parents bought a standard, a stick, I was confused. It was awkward, required a little more thought. After a small while, however, I learned it like it was nothing. And I get better gas mileage.

Wii is just simply awesome.

And it is time, Nuclei, to show them what wii can do.

-A F K

Of Nuclei and Nondeska

2006-11-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

First: My mastery of the japenese language is very much non-existant.

Second: After another meeting of the NUClEuS, it seems that I actually have a worthwhile team. Not just some rag-tag group of kiddies ( which we most certainly are) but instead a strong group of dedicated individuals. I will say I stole some notes from Doc to educate them today in the ways of the sleeper curve. It worked and sparked a very excititng discussion.

Which made me ponder: Am I trying to prove myself as a teacher?

I always liked teaching, speaking in public, informing the masses. Making people laugh works good for me as well. I am just.... curious if my will to be in front of this group of people is inherit of something deeper.

Or, I like talking about video games, the intertubes, and the making thereof.

Maybe.

-AFK.

TO-RAHN-TOE

2006-11-12T21:29:00.000-08:00

Or: what does one do in a mexicar?

I just got back from th trip to TO-RAHN-TOE, CAH-NA-DAH. We were in the car driving to albany by 7 30 A.M. on friday, and we just got back at 10:45 sunday night. So, if you where to do the math, you would have figured out that it was a fucking long time in the maple leaf state. Not arguing- in fact, I have a few pictuars! to show!

First, my intrepid follower on this trip, as well as bankroll. Some know him as the dark knight, others know him as 007. Those people are quite mistaken- he is my dad.
That's him. He took most of the pictures, so blame him for lack of quality. Love ya dad!

In any case, we arrived at the strathacona hotel at about 7:45. Nice little dig, although I encountered my first problem: NO. WI-FI. What the hell? How is a homie supposed to get his E-mailz on????

The night was fairly quiet. I slept like a child - pissing myself three times and waking up crying several more ( hah!). We then got to meet a wonderful man named tim Horton - otherwise known as " the krispy Kreme of Kanada".
Great doughnuts. Then, I went to the seminar, the exact purpose of the trip. It was at the MaRS Collaboration Centre, which means..... something. I am not really sure. But any case, it was quite informational.

What exactly did I learn?
-I can't program.
-I probably shouldn't try right away.
-Garage games = Aweshome.
-Gears of war = Awesome
-There is a certain satisfaction that occurs when a gun/chainsaw rips through a member of the locust horde on a huge projector in front of a group of 300 nerds who all wish they were the one playing. There isn't a word for it yet, but I will coin it as one of the manytimes I have reached Nerd-Gasam.

There was alot of just raw information that I gathered. But the interesting stuff happened afterwards.

You see, I don't know if evolution just shit itself at one point, or satan is involved, but I KID YOU NOT- there are black squirrells in CAH-NA-DAH. Black! With fucking RED EYES! Look! I mean, Holy shit!

There's... nothing behind their eyes.

Enter: The Mexicar.

Apparently this is an advert for Mexico, but instead of a bright sign, they have taken REAL PEOPLE and put them in some sort of cage.....
Somehow, this human slavery will coerce me into going pesos. Not I, sir!

On the train ride home, I... well, I was K.O.'d by sleepyness and took a D6+ 2 hit on my dexterity rating.
It was one helluva trip. I'd like to thank ... Y'know what? Let me ask my manager. Hey Dave, we got time to show the clip before Tom gets here? we do? alright. My manager says I have just enough time to show you one more clip of my dad, in perfect creepyman style.

It was one helluva trip. There is alot I learned, both in and out of academia. Luckily I remembered why i was there.
- AFK

On a midnight train going eh-nee-where

2006-11-09T20:25:00.000-08:00

Well, Toronto.

It hits me that the next couple of days will be very interesting to me, very important. For one, I will be submitting information to Penny-Arcade to see if I can attain their 10,000 dollar scholarship. Getting that scholarship would be worth much more to me than the money - that, more or less, is for my parents aid. Getting it, recieving it from people who know the industry, who pissed off Jack Thompson personally.... validation. It would be the final word I need to know, completely know, that what I am doing is right. Also, with some trepidation, I asked my proffesor ( or doc, as I have come to call him, half because it is easier than "Doctor Jason B. Jones" and two because it reminds me of Marty McFly. Great Scott!) to write me a letter of reccomendation, even gave him an easy way out of it. And agreed to right it for me, which is a certain type of validation all in itself. Your good enough to write about.

Of course, tommorow, I am on a car to albany, a train to the border, a walk to the next train, a full cavity search, an uncomfortable sit-down, then another train to toronto, then a short walk to a hotel, then a sleepless night. After all of that, the next day I appear in front of microsoft ( Microsoft 2.0, the friendlier company) to learn how to make dem' vid-jee oh gamez.

Then on the 14th, I get to meet Stephen Johnson, author of Everything Bad is Good for you, the book that has finally taken everything I have wanted to say and put it onto inkspace. I can only hope he appreciated the shirts I made for him, one for me and the other for doc. ( Is he joking?)

Then, of the seventeenth, nothing happens at all.

At least, nothing important.

And then, on the Ninteenth....

Happiiness iineed.

So, yes, my future hath laid out in front of me. So, lets walk that digital line.

-AFK.

(Yes, I was joking.)

And Update he Shall!

2006-11-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

-Xna is fun to play around with.

-The Nucleus Might actually do something.

-Doctor Jones is Everywhere.

-People will refer to you as Mario when you dress as such once. or twice. Increase by N.

-Wii = love.

-There is a certain philosophy that I want to tap into. I am not sure what to call it, but I may go with Slackerdom in the interim.

- remember this phrase: CHALK BOARD WARRIOR.

-A F K

In Which The Nerd Describes his People

2006-10-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

A fickle bunch, us gamers be.

From cradle to the grave, gamers are being more or less forced into brand loyalty -so much so, that the wonderful phrase "Fanboy" has gone from title to curse. to be called such, it implies that you throw away logic for a cause- no matter what grave injustice, no matter what fault comes to your brand of choice- they are simply infallible. Also, to be called a fanboy I believe it implies that your gramar iz Croode. L0l!

Doc mentioned something to me the other day, about betraying my nintendo heritage ( since I will be going to a microsoft games seminar). And lo, I release another of my ( worst kept) secrets -

I am a recovering fanboy.

Worse: I am a recovering Nintendo Fanboy.

For those who truly know me, they know that statement to be inheritly false- that my love afair with Shigeru Miyamoto and that mustached plumber almost rivals my bordering-on-homosexual crush on John Stamos.

Oh, Uncle Jessie.....

*cough*.

In any case, I wish to discuss Loyalties in the gaming world.

You see, gamers like to be part of a group. That group is staunchly ready to defend against any threat comes it's way ( I.E.- the other groups.) However, Microsoft and nintendo, once fierce rivals ( which, sad to say, microsoft won hands down) have been interesting bedfellows. Nice words shot back and forward, nintendo complimenting Xbox on it's live service ( even going so far as to say their own will be based on it), Xbox turning to nintendo and Getting all giddy over their "Hip new control scheme". There is alot of love happening.

And I am loving it.

I just got a new PDA- one that you will see permenently attached to my hip bone - that runs Windows Mobile 5.0. I can go on it, save my opera broswer settings to my sd card, and then take that card to my Ds ( via external hackery, mind you, but stay with me) to use in it's own opera browser. If the signs are true, I'll be able to do the same to the wii- which Uses Sd Memory Cards. There is an interesting thing happeneing- not just a ceasefire, but a truce between the two giants. The movement is called Wii60, And I believe it will be a force to be reckoned with.

Also:

I hate sony.

There is alot to look at in the next generation, and I will be there for it. I just hope that by the time I am in the job market, my skills will allow me to produce games for both of these companies.

Also:

I Hate SONY.

(Some People you just can't change.)

-A F K

AdrenJarvi42 was sniped by BleakHouseBoz12

2006-10-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

One subject not covered in Steven Johnson's interesting ( and awesome) Book, "Everything Bad for You is Good for You" is the subject of art in games. To be more precise, it is not art IN games, but rather whether or not games qualify ( as a whole) as art. It has been talked to death in the intertubes, meatspace, and otherwise. God knows, every nerd has his own little speech about it.

I am not going to discuss whether or not they are art. I will, however, present some sort of interesting theory.

Maybe.

Gaming, as of right now, has no Dickens. No Shakespeare .

We have a Homer.
We may even have a Plato.

They have taken this raw medium and channeled it into this most recognizable form - much like taking sand and turning it into a window. What gaming may lack is the person to take it further.

The Shakespeare, the Dickens, The Elliot, more more more.

And that is when I noticed something... at the very least, funny.

It started today in Doc's class.

He mentioned how one person may buy a book in parts - chapters at a time. This immidiatley connected me to one of the Gaming world's hottest debates - Digital distribution. Risk-takers like Steam have decided to take a franchise ( Nay, not just a franchise, but their Illiad ) and rather than create a generic sequel, they have instead released the game in chapters (or "episodes"). This made me look into things much deeper - and I found some funny similarities between authors of ole and games of today. The one that took me for a loop was the early writing name of Charles Dickens - "Boz." Wikipedia describes his nickname choice as the following ( again, my apologies doc.)

Boz (long "o") was an early pen name of Charles Dickens, and the name under which he published his first work, Sketches by Boz. The name came from "the nickname of a pet child, a younger brother, whom I had dubbed Moses, in honour of The Vicar of Wakefield, which, being pronounced Bozes, got shortened into Boz."

My... my god.

This is precisely the process many gamers have gone through to get their own unique gamer identifties, one which they can be tied to for quite some time.

Lets look at mine.

Adrenjarvi42 starts with the last name of the holder of this gamertag- Alex Jarvis. His last name was more popular than his first ("Jarvis, get over here!") and after telling his grandfather that fact, was informed that if not for a birth certificate mistake, they would be the Jarvi's ,and not the Jarvis'. He latched onto the name ( Jarvi) and later added the Adren prefix, short for Adrenaline ( of which Alex Identified himself as an addict of). Finally, 42 was added due it being alex's favorite number, mostly because it is, in fact, the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

True, this is somewhat longer than Boz. However, there are three distinct paths that this name takes ( Jarvi, Adren, 42) that are neccisary in today's electronic age - where I have it on good authority that there is another Jarvi out there ,and possibly another adrenjarvi. there may have been 12 Boz', but only one wrote best sellers.

What I mean is... gaming needs a Shakespeare if it is to be considered "Fine Art". We need someone to lift it up above, stand on the mountaintop and scream "COME ALL, AND TASTE IN THE DIVINE GLORY OF PIXELS!"

I am not saying it's gonna be me. I'll be lucky if I become the gaming equivalent of Dan Brown. But mark my words, I am gonna try.

King Lear, I, iv

FOOL: Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a figure. I am better than thou art now; I am a fool, thou art nothing.

-A F K

"I have a class in Sanford, then a lecture In Jarvis."

2006-10-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

During the first meeting for my New Jorb, Scott ( a fine young gentlemen with whom I have lapdanced under hypnosis, and my supervisor/boss) said that I (and cohorts) have realised something that many students do not grasp untill their later years.

Legacy.

Main Entry: ¹leg·a·cy
Pronunciation: 'le-g&-sE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -cies
Etymology: Middle English legacie office of a legate, bequest, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French, office of a legate, from Medieval Latin legatia, from Latin legatus
1 : a gift by will especially of money or other personal property : BEQUEST
2 : something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past legacy of the ancient philosophers>

That was taken from Webster.com ( My apologies, Doc.) Scott said that I grasped legacy, making my mark on this little world of mine.

Which, in a way, is exactly what I was shooting for.

I have been called egotistical in the past ( despite the fact that others publish their entire lives, social status, current favorite song, and their "BFF's" in myspace, xanga, facebook, livejournal et. all. Ironic that I am writing this in a blog, yes, but so far I can only confirm two readers - a professor and myself. So bite be, others). I am loud, I try to be funny, I say odd things. I am very strong in my convictions. When I want to know something, I know everything about it.

I really, really, really, want to leave a legacy. I do not think this is an ego trip. I believe that I want what all authors, designers, and parents want- to produce something greater that the previous incarnation, which in many cases, is nothing. I want to see more students follow in my path, and I want to be there to teach them ( and lo, I let loose a deep dark secret of mine- I may go after a degree in education so that I can turn around and teach the same classes I am currently building. If you remember this, I will have to kill you... whoever you are).

You can be famous, you can be infamous. You can stand in line or lead it. You can pave a way, or walk the beaten path.
And I, I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.

-A F K

That Clock Never Tolls....

2006-10-18T13:55:00.000-07:00

Or: Why the past 2 days have been Aweshome.

Something...

Happening....

Life... getting.... veddy veddy good.

Lets review.

1. I find out the class that I am taking ( math 101) I already took in the summer - and can drop it, making mon-wed-fri much easier.
2. I make 2 friends at microsoft. Get to touch a Zune, Drool on Vista RC2, come withing coughing distance of an XBOX360 signed by the entire dev team ( WHY NO WIN? GRR.)
3. I get a job at the CCSU Website, and apply everything I have ever learned about gaming into something completley dissimilar. The mind reels.
4. I still have a Smoking Hot Lady Friend.
5. I get invited to go to Toronto ( By Microsoft!) to learn how to make games ( For Microsoft!)
6. The Wii Comes out in a Month. *Spooge.*
7. I convince My compadre, Jerito, to head up to Toronto with me ( maybe.)
8. I talk about economic dichotomy in virtual universes today in english. *Double Spooge.*
9. I will be playing dodgeball tonite.
10. I will be playing dodgeball tonite in a Fucking mario costume.

I almost have to wonder, Why is today so... good?

It hit me like a brick.
Danke, Kotaku

1985: Nintendo releases the NES in the US today, along with games like Excitebike, Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt (some asshole missed the JP release back in July). Excitebike's level design was so ahead of its time and damn that game was fun...exciting if you will. Without the NES, most of the Kotaku staff wouldn't be somewhere face down in a gutter right now. Our readers would consist of doctors and lawyers, while Kotaku would be a how-to for hostile corporate takeovers and power lunches. Crecente would be Gordon Gekko and Florian might make children's television shows starring flowers and sing-alongs. Eliza would start an art movement in France while Ashcraft and McWhertor produced Vidal Sassoon commercials...by the truckload. Oh the horror that could have been if we still played Atari.

Thank you, Nintendo. It has been one hell of a ride. And I hear Wii Is gonna blow us all away.

-A F K

I'M GOING.

2006-10-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

Thank you for registering for Academic - X06: GameCamp (Toronto). This email confirms your registration for this event.

Name: Alex Jarvis

Confirmation Number: ----------------------
Event Code: ----------------
Event Name: Academic - X06: GameCamp (Toronto)

Location: MaRs Collaboration Centre - Auditorium Lower Concourse
Room:
City: Toronto

Start Date: 11/11/2006
Start Time: 09:30 AM

End Date: 11/11/2006
End Time: 04:00 PM

-A F K

EA IS THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL!

2006-10-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

That's not totally true. I believe they may be the Wal-Mart of the gaming world - providing 'quality' entertaiment at 'affordable' rates. They have regurgiated Madden year after year, They have found it somewhere in their black hearts to publish such art works [see: Half-life 2, Sims, Spore] and other amusements of mine that I cannot take from their fault [BAT. TLE. FIELD.] However, with their latest game ( Battlefield 2142, A futuristic take on the familiar formula) I have had problem after problem. This probably because my baby ( My Computer, Lamarr) is being hidnered by the CCSU Firewall. City of Heroes Works fine, HL2-Deathmatch, Even some console action. But.... Not so much with the Ole' ( New?) Battlefield.

I suppose It is important I keep my horizons in check: I am a Student, and A Gamer. This allows me to be irrational as I want, such as placing blame on a multi-Million Dollar corporation for a very understandable hardware malfunction.

Regardless; Damn them .

Damn them all to helllll.

-A F K

Comments Work, I guess.

2006-10-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

I promise I did not mean to seem sad in that post that ya commented on.

Pinky Swear.

I am actually suprised that Anyone commented on it. Horray!

In any case, are there advancements in my field? Sure.

Sony has been voted with " worst Controller" with their new "SIXAXIS" ( capitilization is the new innovation, and as far as I can tell, the only one.) controller. It has been described as " Weak-feeling, Plasticy, and terrible". Seeing as I do not care for Sony, this is great news.

There are alot of arguments out there against XboxLive as a gaming platform, which I find confusing and insulting. Live, especially in it's 360 form, has been the standard for which other services must be judged. Ease of use, conformity, all of it great. The only place where I can see room for improvement wouled be the marketplace, mostly because of clutter. But to say that Sony's free program will simply come in and destroy this proven service? Because it uses XFIRE?? Listen kiddies, Live ain't going anywhere. People forget the bitch that Sony made of them in the last generation. And they forget that, while Xfire is a step in the right direction (Xfire is a popular PC matchmaking program that will get ported to the PS3 for limited cross-platform who-ha) they also have deals with gamespy.

What now? TWO different programs to accomplish one task? Where there is two there must be more - which makes the Sony Network Platform just ever so similar to the PS2 Networking solution - Many games, Many Services. Sure it is free... But at what cost? ( wakka wakka).

And, Nintendo. The Innovation, the heart and soul, the love they have put into this device makes me happy. Miyamoto-san, Make us proud - You still got it.

And Doctor Jones - Got any more room left in the budget to ship Miyamoto and Wright over for a little visit? You Would have at least one person interested.*

-A F K

*A joke, unless feasible, in which case FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE.

Case In point

2006-10-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Last night, I actually debated with myself as to whether or not prepare a four page paper about my thoughts on video games in common media.

I'm in Nerdvanna.

-A F K

It was Called SimEverything!

2006-10-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

In which The Nerd finds knowledge troublesome:

A very pivotal thing happened in the summer. You see, I was but a high school graduate, this grazing field of life ahead of me, with stars in my eyes. "I'ma gonna make vid-he-oo - Gamez!" I would say for no particular reason. "They gunna give me Mooooney, and lots of toys to play with.." and I was happy, for a time. But soon, reality sunk in. I may be facing an uphill battle. So, I did what anyone who finds troubling information does:

Tried to disprove it.

I search the fine intertubes for a long time [read: ten minutes, tops.] when I stumbled across a proposal for a new type of class. It was to be called " Learning Communities", and the idea did take me in it's utility: two previously unconjoined classes brought together under a common element or theme. It was perfectly simple: It built up a strong social backbone for the students involved ( being freshman, they had just come from a very rigid social structure and the move to such free form may cause culture shock/herpes) and also bolstered both schools of academia involved by getting to form a common link. I was intrigued to the point where I lost sight of my original task ( find some instance where "Video Game" was mentioned in CCSU history and not prefaced by ' those damn kids and their') untill I found it.

It was called Slackerdom.

The first 'catch' of the class was " Can Video Games Make you Smarter?" for a breif moment, I looked up into the heavens, at whatever being was viewing it, and winked back. A quick danke shea and half-naked victory dance later, I was all ready to sign up for the class. I got a quick look at the name of the proffessor teaching the class: Doctor Jones.

I knew there was a god. I was going to be taught by a doctor jones. As in Indiana. ( the mind of the nerd, while extensive, is subject to hanging onto small quizzical facts. Nevertheless, any time someone calls on "Doctor Jones", to this day I want to stand up, scream " KA-LI-MA!" and rip someone's heart out. Maybe that is just me.)

I had e-mailed this Doctor Jones, letting him know that "he is my only hope" ( Star wars and Indiana jones? What are the odds!) and we arranged for a meeting, something I respect him for greatly to this day. It was a full month and a half before the class was to take place, and here I was, sitting for a ( quite lengthy) conversation with my soon-to-be professor. Once again, A Helluva lot of respect for the guy. And his son? Adorable. But lets move on.

Why am I telling you this? Because that class, Learning Community 1 Freshman Comp, has just started our learning on video games- specifically, Steven Johnsons book, "Everything Bad for you is Good For You". He handed out a sheet today with information on the game " Spore", created by the loving hands of Designer/Demigod Will Wright. The Man, for those not in the know, is creator of the Sims, and is widely considered the second greatest game designer in the world, with the first greatest being Miyamoto-San, Creator of Mario.

I wanted to giggle I was so happy.

As we discussed the topic, however, I found myself holding back. I did not want to step on any toes, and I wanted to let people think what they did about games. As allegations of pointlessness, sex, violence, etc came up, I stayed ( moderatley) silent. Why? Did I not want to talk over Dr. Jones?

I think... I think I knew too much about it to discuss it fairly. I could easily direct a class discussion myself in this topic ( and, Doc, if you ever read this, make make my dreams come true and let me - me rove you rong time?) and I feel that, if I am given the chance to say what I really, truly think, it will all burst through from me in a large nuclear cloud that will, undoubtedly, piss off North Korea, creating mutually assured destruction.

Or maybe what I am afraid of is that what I spend most of my day with, what I have spent 15 minutes writing about on a blog, or what I have spent two hours talking to a College English teacher about just won't matter enough to these people. They simply won't care about my semi-complex theories and psuedo scientific reasoning. Maybe they will dismiss it as just a nerd, talking to himself as he stares at a computer screen ( the irony hits me, just roll with it.)

I could talk for days on this subject, and probably will. But other than one graceful soul... who will listen?

-A F K

And lo, There was Light.

2006-10-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

It has been one Helluva life, so far.

Hiya gang - whoever this gang may be - The name is jarvi. I am in the Video Game Industry- or, at least, I am hanging desperatley to the edges, slipping slowly but with firm resolve to stay on. I am the head of a small, academically run Independent Game Studio, called " The NUClEuS". We are hopefulyl gonna be making video games, so I am here to keep track as we can.

I love Video Games. I will make no lie to that fact. I believe they can accomplish what man has tried to do for generations in ways we could never predict- they will combine all forms of modern media into one conglomerate, and through it we can go anywhere. We can become like gods, playing to our deepest desires, our most secret of insticts. They make us laugh, cry, throw pieces of silicon at the wall in frustration. Parents debate over them, Politicians throw legislation at them, Retailers sell them wildly. But there are some who play them .

And there are some who make them.

And there are a few who truly love them.

Welcome to my world.

-A F K