Saturday, September 01, 2007

Emergence; Blondes; Traffic Singles; Sex.

Four quickies, all dancing around what this blog is primarily about.

Emergence; I Finally got around to purchasing Emergence:The Connected Lives of Ants, Brains, Cities, and Software by Steven Berlin Johnson. SBJ is an awesome guy, also the Author of another favorite, Everything Bad is Good For you. Both of these books are like crack to techo-intellectuals like myself, and others. SBJ spoke at CCSU in Fall 06', and I had the pleasure of eating dinner with him, along with spending time on a panel, where ( as hindsight happens to do) I realize I should have asked a lot of more questions, along with many more important ones. The night boosted my morale, and gave me some strong connections within the school. Not to mention, I get an academic high from attending panels, counsels, etc etc. Rah, rah, sis boom bah.

Blondes; Not what you might think. I am currently running through Metroid Prime 3: Corruption on the Wii, and it is a delight. The FPS controls are simply perfect, and the two things that I can think of that the game could improve on are the following;
1. This Screams online gameplay. Please, make MP4 online, please.
2. The fact that this game has an ending pisses me off .
Must purchase for the enterprising wii owner.

Traffic Singles; I was Perusing the "Welcome week" activities schedule at CCSU; A carnival! that seemed cool. Outside showings, yeah, super. On Saturday, however, they had a "Traffic Light Mixer." Immediately I was struck by the fact I did not know the definition of Mixer ( no need to go to a mixer when taken, right? ....Right?) so I jumped over to wikipedia to make sure I had it down. Apparently, it is like a party. Or A chemistry accessory.

Two, I looked at the supposed plan for the Mixer; No doubt following the facebook trend of displaying sexual availability, they have envisioned a seemingly innocent plan; Attendees are to dress color-coded to the event, based on their availability. Singles are to dress in green; for 'Go ahead, your in college!', i'd imagine. Taken are to Dress in Red, A Definitive 'stop.' And those clad in yellow are to be representing the confusing "It's complicated."

Immediately I envision a few scenarios. One; Boyfriend comes ready in red, Girlfriend is yellow clad. But on a more base level, the very idea of " It's complicated" is not something one wants to 'mix' with. If you are asking to buy a car, and the owners manual says "It's complicated" ( or even better, the old owner still wants to drive it on occasion) you probably won't buy the car. Yellow then, in this case, screams 'EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE', and/or crazy ex girlfriends/Psycho asshole ex boyfriends to deal with. Not very Welcome.

The green fit in, although it leaves some room for thought. One is obviously here and wearing green, meaning they are attending a mixer with the intent of mixing. Mingling. Searching. They are the most at home here, as by a very obvious visual clue, you know the person is single and interested, at the very least, in browsing. After all, they came to the mixer.

The Red.... Wait a minute, you are taken? Shouldn't you be off having sex somewhere?

This is all juxtaposed over the universal constant that many college students won't give two shits about the arbitrary dress code and decide to show up in whatever makes them look/feel/seem good.

I knew there was a solution; my brain snapped into effect. Within moments, I had devised the scheme.

All you need are 5 color bracelets; Red, Yellow, Green, Pink, And Blue, all in abundance. The young mixer's are allowed to wear whatever they would like (within code) and upon entering, they get the patented "Jarvis five second questionnaire." They are presented with a choice of bracelt colors, the choices being red/yellow/green on the dominant arm, and on the other arm, blue/pink.

Green Here means; I am single! Come look for me.

Yellow means: Not Looking; Convince me I should.

Red Means: Taken/ Not Looking.

On the off hand;

Pink: I like ladies!

Blue: I like guys!

Now, in this system, you have Much more information at first glance then before; you have their actual feelings, with no immediate fear of emotional baggage ( I am sure that comes later). You have their sexual preference- no need to hide! This is a Mixer! get what you want! And also, you get their dominant hand- southpaws hooking up with southpaws, or at least a gentlemanly way to shake hands properly ( always go with the lady.)

Upon displaying my revamped system to a friend of mine, I came to the realization I would have to blog this; half because I think it is brilliant, and half because I spent actual time that I could have used to do other things writing this little scheme.

I need help.

-F9

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